Clueless

Bomb Rating: 

This movie signaled to me that if you're looking for love you should sleep with a family member.

Here's a movie whose marketing people should be run out of town for giving the movie a title that tells people if they go see it they will learn absolutely nothing. Fortunately, the word "clueless" is readily understandable by most people who can save themselves seven-and-a-half bucks by thinking about the title for awhile.

Unfortunately, those of us forced to go because we have to are then subjected to a whole rash of dialogue that might as well be in a foreign language. There are words and phrases like betty, baldwin, hottie and hymenally challenged that refer to things one is hard-pressed to understand. Furthermore, the story centers around that Aerosmith video girl, Alicia Silverstone, who plays a rich, Beverly Hills teenager who becomes dissatisfied playing match-maker for her friends and teachers and realizes she requires some affection herself.

I became incredibly confused at this point because she decides that the person for her is her brother, a choice that signaled to me that if you're looking for love you should sleep with a family member. Of course, this was the very point that confused me because the guy she falls for isn't her natural brother, but a step-brother and totally unrelated. However, by that time I was thoroughly offended and could have cared less.

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