Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Bomb Rating: 

This had all the drama of a traffic jam.

I'm confused about what this film was trying to accomplish. Usually films about teenagers relocating to new towns make their heroines shy and sad so that the audience can have a little sympathy for their plight. Usually, the established high school hottie makes life hell for the new girl and eventually the new girl blossoms like a flower and teaches the established hottie a lesson.

In "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," Lola (Lindsay Lohan) moves from New York to New Jersey, shows up at her new school dressed like Rhoda and immediately challenges the reigning school bitch, Carla (Megan Fox), by trying out for the lead role in the school play. Amazingly, Lola gets it and makes every effort to throw the accomplishment in Carla's face. Lola is definitely a drama queen, but I actually had to think about whom I hated more between Lola and Carla.

Director Sara Sugarman seems to realize that the audience is starting to intensely dislike her main character, so she sends her off to New York City to attend a concert. The so-called "conflict" of the film is that Lola and new best friend Ella (Alison Pill) have no way to get into the concert while Carla does.

This had all the drama of a traffic jam. As I see-sawed between tolerating Lola and hoping she'd get taken out by a New York City cab driver, I did cling to the notion that once the conflict resolved itself, the movie would be over. Little did I know I was going to be treated to an entire Lindsay Lohan singing and dancing routine via the aforementioned school play. It's one of those moments where you realize there's a real purpose for suicide.

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