Pardon me while I see if I've got this straight.
You spend your whole life listening to deep space hoping that someday you'll hear a signal that proves there's life beyond our solar system. People ridicule you. They think what you do is stupid. Then, when you do find that signal, your former detractors scramble to take the credit for themselves. Finally, you're in the driver's chair, the first one to take that interstellar journey to the home of a new race. Your entire life's work is on the line. You go; you return. There's only one problem: The camera the government gave you malfunctions, so there's no proof that you went at all.
Earth to Dr. Arroway (Jodie Foster): The next time you visit an alien world, take the time to pick up some %#@!$# postcards.
Since most of this movie deals with the intellectual problems caused by the existence of a race more advanced than us humans, it's about the most convenient thing in the universe that while Dr. Arroway is out putzing around in Puerto Rico she runs into Palmer Joss (Matthew McConaughey) who ends up becoming the president's religious advisor. Despite their total disagreement about the existence of God they are quick to start boinking because they're two good-looking people in a movie and that's the law.
I guarantee that you'll be looking at your watch about two hours into this thing wondering when Jodie is going to get in the pod. Director Robert ("Forrest Gump") Zemeckis gets to do his thing by having some of his actors interact with Bill Clinton via that Gump technology, but otherwise he drags the story along like a sack of potatoes. Obviously, the contact that needed to be going on in this film was somebody's foot with Bob's ass.
To spread the word about this Contact review on Twitter.To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.