The Core

Bomb Rating: 

The end is that of a typical Hollywood catastrophe film as the characters are offed according to their level of star power and sexual chemistry.

I have the same complaint about this movie that I had about school: "too much science." Now, I'm not talking about simple stuff, like determining whether something is a rabbit or a toad -- I'm talking about hard stuff, like geophysics and things that nobody is interested in except guys with comb-overs and women who've programmed their vibrators to sound like Stephen Hawking moaning, "Do it to me, baby."

The premise here is that the core of the Earth has stopped turning and that unless some crafty scientists build a phallic ship to plunge into the Earth and restart the core, the world will end because the atmospheric electromagnetic shield will be destroyed and we'll all be cooked alive by microwave radiation. Let's face it: Cinema and hard science just don't work. For instance, Dr. Edward Brazleton (Delroy Lindo) enters a part of the ship wearing a suit that can withstand 4500 degrees, but it's 9000 degrees in that part of the ship. The filmmaker's idea is that the audience will believe that the suit can survive the heat, just not for very long. Frankly, I agree with that premise. Thank God for public education.

Then there's the part where the ship hits a cavern inside the Earth, but gets stuck in a field of crystals. The crew gets out in an atmosphere of 800,000 pounds of pressure per square inch. Thankfully, we've apparently developed a fabric that can withstand that. The crew has also punched a hole in this cavern, which is filling with molten rock, yet they're still trying to cut this crystal instead of just waiting for the molten rock to melt it. This, of course, is a plot point to get Col. Robert Iverson (Bruce Greenwood) out of the way so that "Beck" Childs (Hilary Swank) can take command, since Swank is billed ahead of Greenwood.

The end is that of a typical Hollywood catastrophe film as the characters are offed according to their level of star power and sexual chemistry. In other words, the lone male survivor has to be the one Beck would most like to boink. Between Brazleton, Dr. Conrad Zimsky (Stanley Tucci), Sergie Leveque (Tckeky Karyo) and Josh Keyes (Aaron Eckhart), you figure it out.

To spread the word about this The Core review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
0 Comments

Like This The Core Review? Vote it Up.

0

Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • I don't care how sophisticated Don Bluth gets with his animation. When I see it, I think Dragon's Lair.

  • It always irritates me that, despite the fact that for all intents and purposes they live in the same world we do, the characters in science fiction and horror films always seem to be born in a cultur

  • This movie is like the overacting Olympics. First, of course, is Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner, who looks as if he developed his emoting style during many a constipated hour on the toilet.