Bomb Rating: 

Don't they have homes for the talentless offspring of Hollywood's elite -- a place where they can go so that their limited vision isn't inflicted upon the world? I say just lock them up, give them as much filmmaking equipment as they can stand, and let them spend eternity showing each other horrible films inspired by their sheltered existences, far away from the real world.

Take director Roman Coppola's debut film -- a rather stunning example of how limited experiences and narrow vision can be used to compel audiences to flail away at their genitals with high-powered electric kitchen utensils. This film is actually about a film editor in Paris in the late 1960's who's working on a sci-fi film while also making a documentary filled with the mundane details of his everyday existence. So, there are two films within a film in this movie -- an insider's delight. Couldn't Roman just stand up at a party and announce that he hung around the set of "The Godfather" when he was two and spare us from this "hey, look at me" kind of crap?

Paul Ballard (Jeremy Davies) is the angst-ridden editor who finally gets his shot at directing when the director of "Dragonfly," Andrzej (Gerard Depardieu), flips out and the director tabbed to replace him, Felix de Marco (Jason Schwartzman), has an accident. As Paul sits on the toilet filming himself, going through an existential crisis that seems about as deep as a contestant on "Fear Factor" debating whether to eat a pig uterus, we're forced to confront the sad fact that young Coppola actually missed the rise and fall of that whole "think outside the box" catch-phrase. If only someone had whispered that to him when he was working on his movie about movies.

Of all the things young Coppola can think to do, he decides to illuminate the fact that the real world is a lot more relevant than the fantasy world of filmmaking. He does this by having Paul fall for the female star (Angela Lindvall) of the sci-fi film and ignoring his actual girlfriend, Marlene (Elodie Bouchez). It's not exactly shocking when Marlene disappears. What is shocking is that Paul is surprised, which must mean that young Coppola thinks it's surprising. The intent here is obvious. When this film bombs in the states, Coppola will present it to the French who will love it just because it bombed over here. The French can have it.

To spread the word about this CQ review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This CQ Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • Jason Lee is so horribly miscast in this film that you'll experience the sensation of the universe shrinking around you while watching him.

  • Here's what you do if you're a filmmaking idiot:

  • "Jack," the story of a ten-year-old boy trapped in the body of a forty-year-old man, is one of those films that's so "feel good" you actually have to pull the director's hand out of your pants when it