Cursed

Bomb Rating: 

Apparently, this was a production fraught with problems. It shows.

I think Christina Ricci could rent out more than one space on her forehead on Ebay and I don't think anybody would even notice. Maybe she could put the first page of somebody's novel on that thing. Sure, people are more apt to notice her chest, but if, as she does in this PG-13 movie, she covers the thing up, the attention is immediately drawn to that vast space above her eyebrows and it's completely distracting, much like the headlight glare off a dirty windshield at night might be.

Apparently, this was a production fraught with problems. It shows. Despite being written by Kevin ("Scream") Williamson and directed by Wes ("Scream") Craven, "Cursed" seems hopelessly lost. For those who might have thought Williamson wasn't a ridiculously overrated talent in the first place, this film proves that he's just a one-note hack. It's not like giving a little new life to the werewolf genre is all that hard. Just watch a few of the various werewolf movies and make fun of them. Unfortunately, watching the movie is less like watching a movie about werewolves and more like watching a film about a writer/director team trying to find the secret formula for a horror film semi-spoof and, to the audience's horror, never finding it.

Virtually everyone in this film is a person hoping that his or her career isn't about to teeter into oblivion. How bad was "Prozac Nation"? So bad that Ricci was naked in it and still nobody has seen it. She's one role away from soft porn. Speaking of soft porn, Shannon Elizabeth makes an appearance as the werewolf's first victim, looking like she just got up and walked out of a morgue freezer. Then there's Ricci's love interest, played by Joshua Jackson. Portia de Rossi has an embarrassing cameo as a fortune teller. Really, this should have been a zombie spoof because this cast is truly the living dead.

The story revolves around sister and brother, Ellie (Christina Ricci) and Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg), who are simultaneously bitten by a werewolf and struggle to come to grips with their impending doom. Fortunately, they discover some new rules and if they kill the werewolf that bit them, they'll be saved. Unfortunately, the interim between them gaining their transitional werewolf powers and killing the big, bad werewolf involves a clich�d combination of teenage angst and female angst. Jimmy uses his powers to achieve success on the wrestling mat and win the heart of a school hottie while Ellie has her meltdown in a public restroom and must debate the pros and cons of her relationship with Jake.

The title of this film is entirely apropos.

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