Dead Man on Campus

Bomb Rating: 

You know, I didn't think Jim Jarmusch even made sequels, and when Iheard about this film I was pretty sure that he had boarded the plane for Moronville. Just how many universities were actually operating in the midwest in the mid-19th century anyway? Sure, the William Blake allusions kind of tie in to the educational process, but what the hell does any of it have to do with getting a roommate committing suicide?

Turns out that the idiots at MTV decided to co-opt the title from Jarmusch and pull off a major coup by tricking the four or five people who saw "Dead Man" into seeing "Dead Man on Campus." However, with Johnny Depp off destroying hotel furniture (or trying to convince Kate Moss to eat solid food), a "Dead Man" sequel didn't have much of a chance to get off the ground, so the filmmakers resorted to making this inane college comedy for which the most promising use might be as impetus for a prison riot.

Even hardened criminals are smart enough to know that the suicide/grade thing is just a stupid urban legend, but the brain trust over at MTV (the "we used to show music videos" network) must have figured that today's college students are stupid enough to pay seven dollars to waste ninety minutes on just about anything. When it comes to idiotic college students, MTV should know -- after alI, it made them that way. If you thought Gary Coleman's career was nasty, brutish and short, just wait until you see how long it takes for Tom Everett Scott and Mark-Paul Gosselaar to pre-emptively sink their own as they play two losers who work to find a roommate who'll commit suicide.

Lots funnier than the movie is the actual admission by producer Gale Anne Hurd and first-time director Alan Cohn that they had a "vision" for this film. A "vision"? Hey, I'll accept a plan or even a blueprint, but a "vision"? If you're going to claim you had a vision, better make it the Virgin Mary appearing and bungee jumping off the TransAmerica Tower. At least that way people will come out of the woodwork to see what your "vision" is all about. More likely, Gale and Alan had that kind of vision that always occurs just after getting up from the toilet.

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