09/21/07: In my freshman year of highschool...

...which goes all the way back to 1984, we had the problem of groups of black girls who would go around beating up a white girl they thought dissed them for any reason. You learned to look down when you passed by the black girls...something I just never stopped doing. Too afraid to look at them because they might think you give them "a look" and want to take you out.

One day in chorus class, our teacher was pissed at us because of something and it was the last class of the day. He said he wouldn't let us go until we were all quiet, but a couple of the black girls kept giggling and talking and I "shhh'd" them (afraid I was going to miss my bus!) When he let us go, the girls surrounded me and said they were going to beat me up. Man, I started talking so fast...explaining why I shhh'd them and just going on and on until finally, the lead gal says..."I like her." And after that, she sort of took me under her wing. Warned me of things like not to go to certain events because "The Ghostbusters" (a gang that formed a couple years later, which were black guys that went around beating up white guys for no reason...they got my boyfriend that year after he came out of a McDonald's) would be there.

So, yeah, there is reverse racism and hatred. My best friend growing up was black. I was shocked when I reached high school and this was happening. I didn't know there were race lines like these before then.

But, I never outgrew it. I still look down when I pass several young black girls together. It's like a reflex.

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