Delusional Crack Whores

The voting Members of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences are Delusional Crack Whores

Long-time readers of Mr. Cranky will instantly recognize this article as unique since during the entire run of this web site I have never praised anything other than in one tongue-in-cheek review of 'Good Burger', which actually seemed to confuse some people (yes, it was a joke, I hated 'Good Burger').

However, given the events of Thursday, July 19, I can no longer bite my tongue and am actually going to admit to liking something. Well, okay, I won't admit to liking it, but what I'm saying is that the television show 'The Wire' is better than anything else on television. In fact, 'The Wire' is better than anything that's ever been on television in the history of television. It's the closest thing to a tolerable television show I've ever seen. Yet here is a sad, sad statistic from the July 19, 2007 Emmy nominations:

Nominations for 'The Sopranos' ' 16
Nominations for 'The Wire' ' 0

This forces me to conclude one thing: the voting members of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences are Delusional Crack Whores. I mean, for fuck's sake, are the Emmys about awarding the best shows or making sure the nominations represent some kind of sampling of the various popular shows on television so that the largest possible number of people will be happy' Here are the nominations for Best Drama:

Boston Legal
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
The Sopranos

I have personally seen three of these shows and know a little bit about the other two. Here are the two I haven't seen: Boston Legal, Heroes. Here's what I have to say about both of them getting Emmy nominations over The Wire: Fuck Boston Legal and Heroes. Fuck 'em right up the ass. 'Boston Legal' is one of those David E. Kelley things. I mean, you gotta be fucking kidding me. David E. Kelley' How much of his shit have we already seen' Let me tell you, plenty. 'Heroes'' Fine, it was new and original and if the Academy didn't nominate it all those dumb-ass 'Heroes' fans would probably burn their building to the ground. I get that one. One word: FEAR.

All those nominations for 'The Sopranos' are for lifetime achievement. Not a one of them has anything to do with the final season because the whole fucking thing was disjointed and annoying. The last episode was a whole hour of creator David Chase sticking his thumb in the eye of his fans. Fuck you, David Chase. I hope you trip and fall and one of those emmys goes right through your groin. And then, of course, there are all the acting nominations for 'The Sopranos'. Jesus Christ, those people have been playing the same characters for a decade. How goddamn hard can it be by now' They all were sleepwalking through the whole season. None of them is worthy of cleaning the trailer toilets on 'The Wire' set.

Every nomination for 'Grey's Anatomy' is a joke. The only reason it's getting the accolades here is for popularity. Comparing the scripts for 'Grey's Anatomy' to the scripts for 'The Wire' is like comparing a 'See Dick & Jane' book with Foucault. It is so totally fucking embarrassing that the Academy seems to think that 'Grey's Anatomy' is better scripted than 'The Wire' that each and every voting member should have whatever degrees they might have burned. They should also have to retake all their elementary education courses. The only explanation for why they would think this is that they are delusional crack whores. I'm sure that delusional crack whores, as a group, prefer 'Grey's Anatomy' over 'The Wire'.

And 'House'' C'mon. Here's every episode of 'House': Somebody gets sick. House and his team try to figure out what's making the patient sick. They pump the patient full of the wrong meds. Somebody from the team discovers something weird in the patient's house. House helps some random patient during clinic duty. Finally, through the clinic patient, House makes a connection between the two and saves the main patient. C'mon people, that's called formula and after awhile, it's something that a computer can do. It's a recipe. It's fucking boring!!

The bottom line is that "The Wire" makes "The Sopranos" look like "Sesame Street" and the inability of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences to recognize this just proves that the Emmys is nothing more than an exercise in cultural prostitution.


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