Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead

Bomb Rating: 

The thought of gangsters like Jimmy the Saint and the Man with the Plan tooling around the Mile High City makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

Having once lived in Denver, the thought of gangsters like Jimmy the Saint (Andy Garcia) and the Man with the Plan (Christopher Walken) tooling around the Mile High City makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl. Denver's idea of organized crime is the Broncos raising ticket prices.

The giggling of a little school girl, however, is the very thing that gives the Man with the Plan's son an erection at the beginning of the film. He leaps a fence and tries to make off with an eight-year-old, but doesn't get very far before being apprehended by school administrators, who are scared catatonic at the thought of having to actually do something.

This puts Jimmy the Saint back into the tough guy business after being out for a few years. The Man with the Plan needs him to help his son by scaring the boyfriend of his son's old girlfriend. If this sounds just slightly convoluted, it gets worse. Director Gary Fleder throws in a romance (Gabrielle Anwar) for Jimmy and an odd relationship with a hooker (Fairuza Balk). There's also Jimmy's job, which involves helping dying people tape advice for their loved ones to watch. Fleder intercuts his film with different people giving different pieces of advice to ensure that we're all thoroughly confused.

It's no wonder Fleder really doesn't have a story, having based an entire movie on a Warren Zevon song. The title tells you immediately the film is going to be dull. There's not that much to do in Denver when you're alive.

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