bleah





Desert Blue


Mr. Cranky's rating:
3 bombs


This is one of those "quirky" films in which neither logic nor economics seems to factor.



The name of the director of this picture is Morgan Freeman, who is not to be confused with the actor who starred in "Seven" and "The Shawshank Redemption." This means that this Morgan Freeman, who is not nearly as well known as the other Morgan Freeman, should change his name to something else. After seeing this picture, might I suggest Rilly A. Bohr?

See, until you finally figure out that we're dealing not with the "talented, successful actor" Morgan Freeman, but rather the "curiously pathetic director" Morgan Freeman, you sit through this entire thing wondering why in the hell a middle-aged black guy would make a film about young white punks who live in Baxter, California (population 89). It would just be a lot easier knowing that the director was a middle-aged white guy making a film about young white punks in the middle of the desert.

This is one of those "quirky" films in which neither logic nor economics seems to factor. All that's important is that the story is set somewhere weird and that the characters are weird. Nobody wants to see a movie about some small town where all the characters are normal. Blue (Brendan Sexton III) is trying to realize his dead pa's idea of building a water park. Pete (Casey Affleck) wants to defend his ATV championship. His girlfriend, Ely (Christina Ricci), wants to blow stuff up. Cale (Ethan Suplee) wants to be deputy. Sandy (Sara Gilbert) desperately hopes "Roseanne" will mysteriously start up again so she can get real work.

The story revolves around a toxic spill involving the secret ingredient to Empire Cola. This strands television star Skye (Kate Hudson) and her father (John Heard) in town and brings in the FBI. Naturally, the central FBI agent (Michael Ironside) is whacked. Personally, I was hoping for his head to explode and the film to turn into "Scanners 5: When Christina Ricci's Forehead Attacks."

Was it really that bad?
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