Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Bomb Rating: 

The main goal … is to pack as many sex-act euphemisms, gay jokes, Asian jokes, and penis euphemisms into one 80-minute film as humanly possible.

It's hard to imagine what Rob Schneider would be doing if he weren't acting. The guy is so completely lacking in any kind of talent that it hurts to think about it. More precisely, it hurts to think about the fact that he's making millions of dollars "acting" and I'm not.

The main goal of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo," the sequel to the juvenile and unfunny "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo," is to pack as many sex-act euphemisms, gay jokes, Asian jokes, and penis euphemisms into one 80-minute film as humanly possible. Thus, if you like that sort of thing, this is your heaven. In other words, if you have the mentality of a vegetable or the taste of a 12-year-old boy, you'll be rolling around on the floor laughing at all the uses of words like mangina, shenis, prostidude and mansicle.

What I gleaned from this film is that, for Schneider, who came up with the story and wrote the screenplay, jokes about the small size of the Asian male's penis never get old. After a while this film becomes like "The Aristocrats" in that the same joke is getting told over and over again. The difference here is that there's no variation. It's like listening to a record skip.

As for the story, T.J. (Eddie Griffin) invites Deuce (Schneider) to Amsterdam just as the man-whore killer begins offing the gigolos of Europe. This forces Deuce back into the game as he tries to discover who the killer is. Another of the film's repetitive jokes involves T.J. furious over being called gay in the press.

The good part about this movie is that it's mercifully short and director Mike Bigelow directs the movie like he has somewhere else to be. If only we all could be so lucky.

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  • I've had infections that were funnier than Rob Schneider. His most alluring talent appears to be the vacant expression, which no doubt required several years of method training.

  • I guess Rob Schneider's entire career is going to be comprised of fish-out-of-water roles. Look! It's Rob playing a sexy male prostitute. Look! It's Rob pretending to be an animal. Look!

  • For the longest time watching this thing, I was trying to figure out if I was watching an actual movie or was simply part of a cruel joke.

Spam-A-Lert

Coaster's picture

Normally, I wouldn't mind, but this morning, I just had the Spam Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, bacon, eggs, and Spam so I'm a little bit tired of it.

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