Dick

Bomb Rating: 

It's not clear how Andrew Fleming convinced anybody that what the summer movie season really needed was an ill-timed comedy about Watergate.

There was a trivia contest prior to the screening I saw and the question one needed to answer in order to win the prize was this: "What was the first movie about Richard Nixon?" Not surprisingly, the first answer out of the audience was "Nixon" in reference to Oliver Stone's 1995 film. The answer the trivia master was obviously looking for was "All the President's Men," the 1976 Alan J. Pakula film about Watergate.

Aside from this film establishing what historical imbeciles people are, one has to wonder how modern audiences are expected to sustain any level of interest in between whispering questions like "When was he president?" and "Did they really call him Dick?" While it's easy to imagine Oliver Stone standing in front of some studio head, ranting about how little green men from outer space are going invade his wife's panties if they don't allow him to make an epic biopic about Richard Nixon, it's not clear how Andrew ("The Craft") Fleming convinced anybody that what the summer movie season really needed was an ill-timed comedy about Watergate.

Who under 40 is going to get any of these jokes and even if they did, who under 40 would care? The premise is that Deep Throat (see, now I'm going to have to explain every little thing; what a pain in the ass), the informant who fed Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein the information that cracked the Watergate break-in (the Watergate was the building that housed the Democratic National Committee office), were actually two nitwitted teenager girls, Betsy Jobs (Kirsten Dunst) and Arlene Lorenzo (Michelle Williams).

You know, as long as we're making films about Presidents people can hardly remember, I hear that James Polk was a real crack-up. Look for "Polk Me? Polk You" to hit theaters real soon.

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