Dinosaur

Bomb Rating: 

Films are supposed to be made because somebody wants to tell a story, not because somebody wants to try out a new computer technique.

Keep in mind here that the reason this film was made was not because somebody at Disney had a miraculous epiphany and came up with a story that just had to be told. What happened was that Disney had this fleet of computer animators slaving away down in the pixel mines, and they developed a technique where they could integrate computer-generated animation with real backgrounds. Only then did somebody come up with a story.

This is an important point because films are supposed to be made because somebody wants to tell a story, not because somebody wants to try out a new computer technique. How many great works of literature were written because the writer wanted to try out a new pen? The suits at Disney thought their technique was cool, they knew how much money "Jurassic Park" made, and they knew they could sell more Dinosaur dolls than the entire nation of Taiwan could produce in a year -- so they fashioned a film around their new technology.

Consequently, the story of "Dinosaur" is full of more clich├ęs than a political stump speech. Aladar (voice by D.B. Sweeney) grows up as a lone dinosaur among a bunch of monkeys until they're forced off their island by an asteroid strike. They then meet up with a bunch of dinosaurs who are migrating to a more hospitable spot where they can enjoy lots of dinosaur sex.

As the only dinosaur on the monkey island, Aladar grows up lonely. Of course, the second he meets up with the other dinosaurs, there's immediately mate potential in Neera (Julianna Margulies) and a conflict with the leader, Kron (Samuel E. Wright). You can also bet there's a crapload of monkey jokes. Naturally, everything turns out fine -- Aladar saves the herd, boffs Neera, has some dinosaur kids and moves to the dinosaur suburbs to start the process of becoming extinct. In short, it's typical Disney.

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