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Earlier today a sinister conspiracy involving some of Hollywood's top action movie producers was exposed.The producers, who cannot be named at this time, are part of a secret cabal whose mission is to ensure that Hollywood action movies retain their position of worldwide dominance.
Over the last few years this cabal has been behind a ruthless campaign to prevent the Hong Kong film industry from gaining a foothold in the billion-dollar domestic film market.
This campaign first began in the early seventies, with the mysterious death of Bruce Lee, before his Hollywood/Hong Kong co-production Enter the Dragon was released. The cabal has since abandoned assassination as a method. Later the campaign ensured that Jackie Chan's early Hollywood attempts (eg The Big Brawl, and supporting roles in Cannonball Run I & II) failed.
Recently, the campaign has had to make more extreme efforts. The success of such noted Hong Kong action directors as John Woo, Ringo Lam and Tsui Hark was seen as a threat to the long term survival of Hollywood-preferred directors like Andrew Davis and Tony Scott. Since assassination is no longer considered an option, the career equivalent was necessary. It was decided that these three directors should be brought to Hollywood, where their efforts could be more easily throttled. The vehicle - Jen-Claude Van Damme.
All three Hong Kong directors have made their Hollywood directorial debut with Jean-Claude Van Damme films - Hard Target, Maximum Risk and now Double Team. All three have been released to critical scorn, and the first two have failed to achieve broad commercial success either. It remains to be seen if Double Team will fail as its predecessors did, but the pattern looks likely to repeat.
Jean-Claude Van Damme has a dubious history in destroying the careers of those unfortunate enough to become involved with him.
Nowhere to Run - brought Rosanna Arquette's career as a leading actress to an inglorious end.
TimeCop - should have resurrected Mia Sara's career, instead killed it, and sentenced Ron Silver to bit-part bad guys.
Street Fighter - killed Raul Julia, literally.
Sudden Death - destroyed Peter Hyams' directorial career (when TimeCop failed to do this, more effort was required).
The Quest - a counter attempt to destroy Van Damme by starring him opposite Roger Moore.
Maximum Risk - also halted Natasha Henstridge's rising star and heaving bosom.
Next Week - as the injunction is lifted, the names of those producers involved will be published. Stay tuned.
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