Any one who hasn't seen the movie series "Bloodsport" should now at this point click on the "suicide" button located on a Glock 9's trigger aimed at their own head. That should prove the true "Bloodsport". To all those initiated into the "Bloosport" experience should know that the Kumite event should be truly BLOODY! There just is not enought blood to make the movie more realistic. In my days working at my Body Piercing shop here on South Street in scenic center city Philadelphia, I have personally witnessed a "Kumite" of and in itself on the streets. No, Jean-Claude did not get into a barfight with Bolo Yeung. The contenders I speak of are Philadelphias finest.... bums that is. Yes, nothing is more truly entertaining than watching two malnourished drunkards flailing their limbs at each other for the purpose of figuring out who just stole a bottle of 'Thunderbird' malt liquor. Just imagine the lack of strength that these old hungry guys have... the years of eating out of garbage cans, the nights spent on a hot sewer grate in the dead of winter. These conditions create a very interesting opponent in the art of shootfighting. When pitted against one another, these street savvy black belts (actually, they're wearing old fan belts from a '76 Pinto, but hey thats a 'black belt'), the blood really does fly. The high blood alcohol content, combined with the thick skin from being burnt by young frat boys brings about a fighting experience that would even make Frank Dux run away in horror. South streets favorite homeless fighter Arvester McKoy, leader of the P.B.K.A. (Phila. Bum Kumite Association) has been known to knock out his opponents with a single blow!(after a few fifths of vodka) of his breath. So, for the next Bloodsport, please utilize the worlds oldest renewable resource... bums!! They grow everywhere, easy to pay as long as there's a supply of liquor stores, and they dont mind bleeding all over the carpet!
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