03/28/08: Re: What's The Least Painful Way Of Commiting Suicide?

Ive read most of these threads and agree with the people with depression which is wot ive got, had it since i was about 15 or 16 when my grandad died, then dropped out of High School and the lack of social contact with ppl my own age got me even more depressed. Ive done Cognitive Behaviour programme and it seemed to be working for abit but then when I started going out with a girl Ive known for about 4 years or so (we tried going out a year earlier but the same thing happened again) then she dumps me because shes going to another country for a year and cant see us working out and I thought I could handle it but is been about 3 weeks now and I cant stop thinking about her, I wish she knew my true feelings about all of this but if she did she would probs think she's to blame and I wouldn't want to leave this earth earlier with knowing she'd be feeling guilty for the rest of her life. I guess I cant really know what love is cause Im only 20 but she made me feel on top of the world, happy and strong but Ive slowly slipped back to where I was when I started with depression, no friends, no long term job, stuck in a rut. For them reasons suicide has been on my mind almost everyday but Im afraid of leaving this world without making a mark on it ie No one will remember me in 100 years time or even 20 years after i die, we only get one shot on this planet, my advice is to make it a good one, do what your afraid of so you will overcome your fears and be you. This is the first time Ive shared my feelings properly like this but because no one knows who I really am and cause I want to tell some1 I thought this is the best way. I probs wont comitt suicide as I aint got the courage but if i do I guess it will be drowning as Im in the Uk and I dont know anywhere where I can get a gun. Right all said and done I shall leave you guys with two quotes from one of my favourite films of all time, "Every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" and "I'll see you in another life... when we are both cats"...Thanks for taking a couple of minutes out of your time to read my thoughts.

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