Dr. T and the Women

Bomb Rating: 

Wow. We haven't seen an acting stretch like this since Marlon Brando played a fat guy.

I had no idea what a misogynist Robert Altman was, but this film confirms it. Altman thinks women are idiots. He's convinced that their only source of value is between their legs.

How else do you explain a movie in which Richard Gere plays a gynecologist? First, let me just note that this notion alone is repulsive on so many levels that I barely know where to begin. Ostensibly, the women of America will scratch and claw their way into the theaters to indulge in the fantasy of Richard Gere clearing out their yeast infections. The women in this film, meanwhile, are little more than caricatures of dysfunction, from his wife (Farrah Fawcett), to his sister-in-law, Peggy (Laura Dern), to his daughters Connie (Tara Reid) and DeeDee (Kate Hudson) -- they're all nuttier than a fruitcake. The only woman who isn't nutty is the golf pro, Bree (Helen Hunt), whom Dr. T immediately sleeps with even though her name reminds everybody of a soft and inconsequential cheese.

Naturally, Gere's character, Dr. T, is revered by every woman in the film. He's the perfect husband, the perfect father, and the perfect gynecologist. Apparently, what Zamfir is to the pan flute, Dr. T is to the speculum. However, Altman's point here is that women shouldn't be treated that way because dependence makes them insane. Dr. T tells Bree in a moment of supposed insight that every woman he meets has something special about her. Unfortunately, the movie itself establishes that every single female character who is even remotely dependent on a man is out of her mind.

The whole thing starts off with Farrah being institutionalized with some farcical ailment that involves turning into a child to escape a perfect life. Basically, Farrah gets to bound around like a drunk moron throughout the entire movie. Wow. We haven't seen an acting stretch like this since Marlon Brando played a fat guy. After that, the entire film is just one flipped-out woman after another losing her mind, and Dr. T trying to figure out what makes the silly hens tick. Of course, he never figures it out because there is no answer, suggesting that Altman has finally come out of the closet as a smarmy, self-righteous woman-hater.

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