Dude, Where's My Car?

Bomb Rating: 

To imagine that there was a whole process required to bring this film to screen is almost too painful to imagine.

This type of movie is exactly the reason so many unsuccessful screenwriters are found swinging from their ceiling fans by ropes around their necks or in full bathtubs holding blow dryers. To imagine that there was a whole process required to bring this film to screen is almost too painful to imagine. Likely, that process was circumvented via nepotism, or else the filmmakers simply sucked more executive schlong than an intern trying to get a job in a studio mailroom.

This movie is incredibly stupid, though criticizing it for that fault is also stupid since the film never intended to do anything other than appeal to stoners and the simple of mind. My whole filmgoing experience was summed up by a girl sitting two rows in front of me who laughed when Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott) threw a piece of pizza across the room. You see, they tossed an entire pie onto the ceiling to prevent it from being seen by their pizza-making boss, who wanted to know what they had done with thirty pizzas. Naturally, it actually sticks to the ceiling. While talking to the guy, Jesse catches a falling piece and tosses it across the room before this guy sees him.

So this girl is laughing and snorting like a pig with a plastic bag over its head, and I'm thinking: This is EXACTLY the kind of person who would laugh at this. With a laugh like that, "Dude, Where's My Car" is about the only type of movie you can see and not be icily stared out of the theater.

Undoubtedly, writer Philip Stark and director Danny Leiner (whose credits only include television) took too many bong hits one night and came up with the entire concept for this film while munching pretzels and watching late-night television. If that's worth seven bucks and 83 minutes to you, then be my guest.

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