Easier Said

Bomb Rating: 

"You know, at least it's inspired. Who would have thought to make 'Romeo and Juliet' with chimps?"

If you want to see a film that will suck the life right out of you, try this one. Making a film that does not have one single inspired moment in it -- not one thing where the viewer goes "gee, that was mildly interesting" -- would take herculean effort, because even the stupidest guy on the planet should be able to take a couple hours of film and do at least one interesting thing. Believe it: There's not one interesting moment in this entire film. Not one.

What do I mean by inspired? I mean that if you're a director and you're making your first feature film like writer/director H. Todd von Mende, you set out to make something original or, at the very least, containing a twist, however slight, on a common idea. Like "Romeo and Juliet" starring chimps; that's a twist. Of course, such a thing would probably be absolutely unbearable to watch, but you'd have to sit there and think, "you know, at least it's inspired. Who would have thought to make 'Romeo and Juliet' with chimps?"

Who, exactly, sets out to make a movie comprised of characters and lines and scenes that every person on the face of the Earth has seen more times than they can possibly count? If you took the most mundane moments ever witnessed on soap operas, combined them with most stilted lines ever uttered on infomercials and add a healthy dose of the worst acting imaginable, you still wouldn't have a film as bad as "Easier Said." The story, in a nutshell, is that a Manhattan book editor, Jack (Bo Clancey), quits his job to follow his dream of writing the great American novel and moves to Colorado where he runs his Uncle's Inn for the summer.

"Quits his job to write the great American novel" -- now there's a plot a third grader might conceive while riding to school on the short bus. It's impossible to imagine how this film got made, unless Mende spent his own money to do it. If he did, how could the people who love him not tell him, "Your script sucks gigantic monkey cock"? When I die, I shall look back upon my life and regret nothing, except for the ninety minutes I spent watching this cinematic abomination.

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