Eddie

Bomb Rating: 

And God reached down from the heavens and placed his finger on the brain of the screenwriter and said, "Lo, thy name is genius."

"Eddie" is a good example of the utter bankruptcy of creativityand originality that is Hollywood. The filmmakers could come up with no better idea for a movie than "funny person coaches New York Knicks." After the film was passed over by the likes of Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg got punted into the role and the main character's name was changed from Ed to Edwina (and God reached down from the heavens and placed his finger on the brain of the screenwriter and said, "Lo, thy name is genius.").

This film has all the energy of a rotting corpse. Although it uses real basketball players for its basketball sequences and even has real players (John Salley, Rick Fox, Malik Sealy, Mark Jackson, Dwayne Schintzius and Greg Ostertag) making up the New York Knicks, the game sequences have all the excitement of synchronized swimming. Apparently director Steve ("I haven't made a decent movie since "The Buddy Holly Story" in 1978") Rash feared that if the basketball sequences were even mildly interesting, they would create too big an obstacle for the rest of the film.

Given the limitations of "Celtic Pride," it's hard to believe that "Eddie" could be worse, but it is. The dialogue was written by a primate who apparently decided, after sucking down a banana or two, that it was crucial the movie have a groundbreaking message. Consequently, Eddie (Goldberg) delivers a stale monologue about the game belonging to the fans.

A long time ago, writers were trained in technique -- in the uses of symbolism, style, metaphor and the like. Today, some Hollywood hotshot pulls "Eddie" out of his ass and is rewarded with twenty million dollars and a writing credit.

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