Elektra

Bomb Rating: 

In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-office by "Racing Stripes." Can you imagine something like "Spiderman 2" being eclipsed by a talking zebra film?

In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-office by "Racing Stripes." Can you imagine something like "Spiderman 2" being eclipsed by a talking zebra film? How bad would it have to be to be eclipsed by a talking zebra movie? Imagine how bad and you have "Elektra."

The first hour of the movie contains virtually no action and about five different shots of Jennifer Garner putting her shirt on. All that exposition and I still couldn't figure out what was supposed to be interesting about any of it. Here's an idea for a plot: Elektra decapitates somebody. That's all I really wanted to see in this film: a chick in hot, red lingerie decapitating somebody. What the hell is so hard about that?

Instead, moron director Rob Bowman just drags the film along filling it with all this crap about Elektra (Garner) being sent on a mission to kill a girl (Kirsten Prout) and her father (Goran Visnjic) only to become their protector and find out the girl is like some second coming of a superhero. They're being chased by some Asians, presumably because the audience will make that connection that Asians are good at martial arts and it'll be really impressive when Elektra kicks their asses.

If Jennifer Garner can act, there's no evidence here. She's pretty much playing Sidney Bristow, but just a little pissed off and quiet like she's got a cold. Among the many stupid things in this film is Terence Stamp as a blind martial arts teacher named Stick who naturally seems to get around better than most sighted people and doubles as an amateur psychologist because he understands everything about Elektra's inner demons. Speaking of demons, the Asians gather a group of four, which includes a huge black guy who pretty much seems invincible until a tree falls on him. After that, I didn't have much faith in the power of the demons. I mean, c'mon, what superhero just dies after a tree falls on him? That's a serious Achilles' heel if you ask me. I was actually kind of surprised that Bowman didn't spend another thirty minutes filming Elektra trying to get trees to fall on different demons.

The film is just slightly better than completely incoherent.

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