10/20/05: You wouldn't know a metaphor if it bit you on the ass

Now if I was 40 years younger and had a fair amount of Brain Damage, I would describe the entry below as "being da shit."

http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/clockstoppers/63.html

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END MOVEMENT

I've got this bad habit
And I've had it for years
It's enough to drive me
To distraction and tears
It strikes after dinners
Of hot dogs and beans
What comes after them has
Created some scenes

So you farted in church?
Abashed? My ass wrote the charter
Please have pity on me
I'm an accordion farter

Most people just toot
Be it basso or alto
My butt can do those
And throw in some contralto
Most others just blair. grin
And keep sipping their cocoa
But how do you shake it
When your ass plays the Polka?

So you farted in class?
You ain't exactly a martyr
You did one little note
I'm an accordion farter

I can't seem to cash in
On my nice little gift
Cause my agent and I
Have a musical rift
He had asked for High "C"
But did not like the note
Cause before I played it
I (Ahem!) "cleared my throat"

So, trade places with me?
With that you won't even barter
You have one little note
I'm an accordion farter

---With apologies to Eamon J. Doyle

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