Employee of the Month

Bomb Rating: 

As one might expect as Simpson polishes her acting "skills," there are these long, disturbing shots of her furrowing her brow and attempting to make faces to accompany different emotions, mostly confusion.

I'm not proud of it, but I do some shopping at Costco. Seeing so many crappy movies, I'm knee deep in shit most of the week and you can buy a gross of toilet paper rolls there for something like seven bucks.

"Employee of the Month" doesn't try to hide the fact that the filmmakers rented out a Costco and filmed the entire movie there. Frankly, I spent most of the movie looking behind the actors and counting how many Kirkland brand items I could see or asking myself why they didn't sell shotguns and mini-motorcycles in the Costco where I shop. And why was the coffee in this Costco stocked next to the cat litter?

The rest of the film seems to be about Jessica Simpson's breasts. I mean, they're fine looking things, but who the hell has ever seen a Costco employee who looks like her? When Zack (Dane Cook) gets the word that the new cashier, Amy (Simpson), likes to sleep only with winners of the Employee of the Month award, he decides to rethink his slacker, box boy ways, and challenge the reigning EOTM, head cashier Vince (Dax Shepared). It's not exactly shocking the Zack suddenly discovers the motivation to climb the corporate ladder. Finding a chick like Amy, who waves around her cleavage like a foam #1 finger at a football game, at a Costco is like having the winning Powerball ticket blow into your pocket on a windy day.

As one might expect as Simpson polishes her acting "skills", there are these long, disturbing shots of her furrowing her brow and attempting to make faces to accompany different emotions, mostly confusion. Why the hell Simpson needs to practice looking confused is a question I will not soon be able to answer, but if that's one of her acting challenges, she might as well sign up for her Playboy centerfold spread now and book her appointment on a "Where are they now?" segment for 2012.

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