|
 |
Enemy at the Gates
Mr. Cranky's rating:
I don't know what kind of historical license director Jean-Jacques Annaud was granted for this film, but didn't the Russians endure enough in World War II that smarmy, British actors portraying them years later should feel compelled to at least attempt a Russian accent?
There's a phenomenon many artists -- writers, painters, musicians -- suffer from that's called "epiphany regurgitation." It occurs when you are exposed to an interesting idea, file it in the back of your brain and then, about ten years later, recall the very same idea -- only you think it's yours and consider yourself brilliant for "conceiving" it. If you've been around long enough, you sometimes repeat your own idea and think yourself doubly brilliant.This is obviously what happened to composer James Horner who, in 1982, did the music for "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan," and now repeats virtually the same riff in this film -- over and over and over again. Every time there's the least bit of tension, we hear those same few notes. Russian sniper Vassili Zaitsev (Jude Law) and Nazi sniper Major Konig (Ed Harris) are supposed to be engaging in a tense duel, and I'm thinking, "When's Kirk going to run out from behind a rock and zap someone with his phaser?"
I don't know what kind of historical license director Jean-Jacques Annaud was granted for this film, but didn't the Russians endure enough in World War II that smarmy British actors portraying them years later should feel compelled to at least attempt a Russian accent? Why not show some respect and give audiences the impression that it was indeed the Russians and not the British who turned the Third Reich from Stalingrad? Are Jude Law, Joseph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz not talented enough to accomplish that, or are the British just so egotistical that they think they deserve the credit? Bob Hoskins's turn as Kruschev would have been interesting were it not for that thick cockney accent of his, which makes him sound ridiculous. Hell, if we're going to give the British credit for defending Stalingrad, why not go ahead and feature the Japanese attacking it?
More ridiculous is the sniper duel between Zaitsev and Konig. Each of them sits there, a couple hundred yards away from his target, and no matter what the target may be doing, each manages to put a bullet right between the person's eyes. There's an incredibly stupid scene in which Zaitsev and another sniper (Ron Perlman) run and jump across part of a collapsed floor. Konig may as well be on the other side of Siberia, but still manages to hit the Perlman's character right between the eyes even though he's running and his head isn't even facing Konig.
To make matters worse, a love triangle develops between Law, Fiennes and Weisz, the obvious conclusion of which can be drawn during the first scene where they all stare at each other and Fiennes gives Law that "I saw her first" stare. Ah, if only somebody in this dumb film would have given Weisz green skin -- then Kirk could have come out from behind the rock and shot all these losers.
Was it really that bad?
You tell us! Discuss "Enemy at the Gates" in the Mr. Cranky forum below!
Post a New Message in the "Enemy at the Gates" forum
Messages:
- It does have some flaws but is still a good movie joeyramone
- this was a good film ok mr cranky you fool JohnBoy19
- this was a good film so get notted mr cranky JohnBoy19
- this was a good film JohnBoy19
- I love the movie Juan
- I liked the movie. Bean
- Cranky no like E at G 'cause the bad guy is portrayed by a Yank PsychoRabbit
- Get a life Crank Spudman
- Fuck you Mr Cranky! (J_Smithers_Esq)
- Why Russian accents? (flyboy)
- LASTIES!!! (Fuck_the_president)
- A Rant about New York, NY (Mr_Bud_Wallace)
- Let's boycott Kool Aid! (Mr_Bud_Wallace)
- What? Another school shooting? (Mr_Bud_Wallace)
- Duke is putting the pipe to UCLA. (MAYORBOB)
- I noticed something about the movie Judge Dredd the other night.... (KillClooney)
- Mir Spacestation...Come On Down! (liquid-sunshine)
- We had to destroy the herd to save it. (MAYORBOB)
- Let's boycott Pepsi (Beast)
- Has anyone heard any worthwile music lately? (Beast)
- Rented "Julian Po" a couple nights ago (Spoilers and such) (Thanatos)
- A rant about Chicago (Slater)
- CREATE ANGELS FROM TAMPONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (spite)
- Breaking News: Another week.......There has been another school shooting! (Masked_Loser)
- Another school shooting, in the same district as the last one... (Morrison_Hotel)
- Hi all, (Melanie_J)
- Yes, one rule.....don't use the name "Melanie"... (Yosephi)
- The rules (Toady)
- In order to become a full-fledged member of Crankyland... (ModernRonin)
- Call me Mel, then (Melanie_J)
- Hello, Melanie! I'm a newbie, too. (Mr_Bud_Wallace)
- So, Ben Cranky... (Melanie_J)
- I *seriously* doubt you want to see me topless... (ModernRonin)
- <G> aww c'mon Mo- Ro.. ..SHOW US YOUR TITS! (miss_enthropic_bitch)
- Rule Number 1: You don't talk about Fight Club (Coaster)
- Hi, Mel... (Wulfgar)
- Hello and welcome. (MAYORBOB)
- Rule #4 (Thanatos)
- Damn, Coaster, you crack me up (Melanie_J)
- Be careful what you ask for, MEB... ;] (nt) (ModernRonin)
- Nice to meet you Mel... (Shadow)
- Welcome to Crankyland Crankyland supply officer (Theodoric)
- Go away. Crankyland is full. (Slater)
- Melon Head J... welcome... (mendo)
- What's a Catalina? Is it anything like a Matador? (Karen_G)
- Hi, Mel (Junk_Yard_Dog)
- Catalina (Theodoric)
- BTW (Junk_Yard_Dog)
- Actually... (Pseudonym)
- Either way, Pseusie... (Theodoric)
- Drew? (Wulfgar)
- Pseu (Junk_Yard_Dog)
- hey Captain_Kirk
- It is offical god no longer exists, if he ever did (llamasex)
- Goodbye, WANG. How I will miss thee. (skilly)
- Skilly, I had no idea you were THIS desperate!!! (Homeboy)
- Why I love Molly Ivins (convenor)
- Happy Birthday William Shatner (mangy-ranger)
- Hello, I'm a newbie here...well sort of, but my wife posts here! (Mr_Bud_Wallace)
- The Flat Earthers Strike Again. (liquid-sunshine)
- Anyone Know (llamasex)
- If this keeps up, McMahon will be placing personal long distance... (MAYORBOB)
- I am not playing my Sega Dreamcast much anymore..:-( (Masked_Loser)
- I hope The Naked News likes my audition tape! (Biff_The_Porno_Star)
- Find out the frequency distribution of surnames in the U.S. (MAYORBOB)
- Clinton = Death (Spanky)
- Now This Is A Bad Company. (liquid-sunshine)
- Whitney Houston could be the next Bond girl... (Morrison_Hotel)
- Not even Conan can make Bill Belamy funny (Dave_Osborne)
- FISH. (Retard_in_the_Theater)
- Frequent Sex May Help You Look Younger (spite)
- Don't read (cypherpunk)
- Just saw the movie WONDER BOYS..anyone else see it???? (Masked_Loser)
- I got Reservoir Dogs, Bound, and Lock, Stock, and two Smoking Barrels (Dave_Osborne)
- "Crackheads Never Die" (Veruca_Salt)
- test (gaz)
- HOW TO PRODUCE A ROCK RECORD! (Viscount_Omega)
- Memo to: Genome Project Team Re: Bulldykes (Right_Honorable_Omega)
- IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT (SavageWombat)
- Stupid Madonna video (Spanky)
- I WANT TO MEET YOU MIA WALLACE AT DISNEYLAND. (Bill_Bradley)
- Bill Bradley asssassination of Beast.. well not an assassinate. (Bill_Bradley)
- The Neverending Battle: A Crankyland Action Fic. Chapter 2. (speaker4dead)
- I'm not leaving till 5 of my enemies announce that I am really funny! (Bill_Bradley)
- David Duchovny's and Julianne Moore's "Evolution" (Veruca_Salt)
- A commentary on the Filipino Race and people. (Bill_Bradley)
- I just want to let you know. (Cardinal_Biggles)
- All men should have their balls chopped off. (Jennifer690)
- IQ Question (Zed)
- Today's Playlist. (Biff_The_Porno_Star)
- "Pollock" the Most Important American Painter (Dan_in_Cincinnati)
- From Dan Savage's column in this week's Onion (Edgar_Britt)
- One of the Village People died (Spanky)
- Thoughts on JUST VISITING? (Beast)
- I;m dhe bestests Sensator eveerr!!! SEnsator-NEKKID!! (Mrs_Wonderful)
- Mr. Wonderful issnt' no prono stare!!!!!!!!!!!! Sensator-NEKKID!! (Mrs_Wonderful)
- Colin Powell begins to make Bush look wordly... (J_Smithers_Esq)
- Crankyland is finished. (KING_CONQUEROR)
- Guess who Notre Dame's Commencement Speaker is gonna be? Hail to the (Slater)
- biff the porn star (mia_wallace)
- haido (mia_wallace)
- i found a real monkey butler (mia_wallace)
- "Cross of Iron", now that was a GREAT movie about the Eastern front in WWII (0b1knob)
- Non-brit/irish European actors working in Hollywood... (Parca_Mortem)
- I'm back, ya wee fuckers... (Slater)
- Bill Bradley perplexed by German efficiency transforms himself to a German. (Bill_Bradley)
- My GrassValley Experience of E@daG (Blunt)
- Hello, ladies! I'm still here and "anxious." (Biff_The_Porno_Star)
- Enemy of the Gates joke (upyours)
- Natalie Portman naked and petrified. (ModernRonin)
- My army has aligned with a new breed of robots!!! (Bill_Bradley)
- LOOK! George Bush invented the word 'Hispanically'!!! (Bill_Bradley)
- Mr. Cranky is a mindless waste of skin. (tankabbot)
- Why are things the way they are? (MAYORBOB)
- Dread Pirate Roberts strikes again! (TheWreck)
- Good Will Hunting 2--the sequel (Viscount_Omega)
- Mr. Cracky seid he will fined my impester & hunt him 2 tha end of tha werld (Mr_Wonderful)
- Amtrak: Just another model of government efficiency (X-MAN)
- Michael Medved just said Tom Cruise officially is leaving scientology (X-MAN)
- SHEEP HERDERS ARE USING LLAMAS TO PROTECT THEIR SHEEP. (Bill_Bradley)
- MAYORBOB'S VIETNAM WAR FLASHBACK. (Bill_Bradley)
- I just heard this blurb on tv... (Pseudonym)
- John Phillips (Spanky)
- Free call to make (fhgjijkfgiff)
- OK, which Crankyland slut has the biggest boobs and lowest morals? (Mr_Wonderful)
- In my neverending attempt to achieve compleat cultural awareness... (MAYORBOB)
- Mea Wallrase, babeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gennetic Jackhammer (Mr_Wonderful)
- CD review: Scott Weiland @. peace (mendo)
- Has anyone received anything like this recently? (MAYORBOB)
- Whatt does it mean to french someones?????????????????????????????????????? (loser-sunshine)
- Bitch slap for the Lord! (MAYORBOB)
- Today's playlist (Beast)
- Have fun with Senator Orrin! (MAYORBOB)
- The Hottest Girls On The Net (J4734)
- nick The ass needs to get over himself (mia_wallace)
- Thanks, Bill Clinton!!! (Homeboy)
- Wulfgar and any other 'Guinness' drinkers.. (Homeboy)
- This reads almost like a piece in The Onion. (MAYORBOB)
- Top 100 Album list (feel free to post your own lists here) (Morrison_Hotel)
- Genesis 19: 33-35 (Homeboy)
- Visit with me 1 on1! (rhfgjkfhjfjf)
- What are the requirements for becoming a member of the WGA and SAG? (Quiz?) (Dave_Osborne)
- HELOOOOOOOOOOO (PRINCESS1)
- My newest movie is set to premiere this Friday! (Biff_The_Porno_Star)
- WHAT THE HECK ??? Twilight Zone...Total Recall...(not!) (Mon_Cul)
- The Contender sucked (Viscount_Omega)
- My show starts in about an hour (Beast)
- "WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH TEACH THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO SPEAK", a new musical (Mikurtis)
- Round Two of McCain-Dubya Steel Cage Death Match begins this week. (MAYORBOB)
- a letter from mr. wonderful (mia_wallace)
- Another Bushism (Bush_Sucks)
- NCAA Tournament: For the third time in five years (convenor)
- New PTA and Adam Sandler project (Maniac-Cop)
- Hmm. Interesting things in this "Sent Messages" folder this weekend. (Technomage)
- Say GoodBye to Tickets! (anna2410)
- John Phillips of "Mamas and Papas" dead at 65 (Theodoric)
- Cann anybody tells me what YUO = FAG0T means??????????????????????????????? (loser-sunshine)
- ALL PEDOPHILES READ THIS!!! (llamasex)
- I just bought five PLaystation 2 games this month! (Masked_Loser)
- If, as some posters have advocated, school officials were allowed... (MAYORBOB)
- yo, Bickle, scope it... the prettiest girl on the 'net... (mendo)
- MAYORBOB Dodds still needs your donations. (spite)
- Hey Psue, do you post at Sluggy.net too? (ModernRonin)
- I'm Calling on every last one of ya to help me (screenwriting related) (Dave_Osborne)
- Conqueror/Mr. Mendocino has this on his wall. (spite)
- Ed Harris is the perfect Nazi (Spanky)
- Hey, Pseu (and any other BFF fans)... (Eamon_J_Doyle)
- What do you guys think of the movie SAFE? (Beast)
- I shaved off my goatee today and for some reason my face just doesn't look (Dave_Osborne)
- Germans finally realize who the REAL enemy is. (0b1knob)
- I got Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction ( they didn't have ANY Lee movies) Poll (Dave_Osborne)
- Romantic favorites performed by Carreras, Domingo, and Pavarotti! (pch)
- THE SECRET KGB UFO FILES. (pch)
- I won 1st place in paintball team tournament. (Bill_Bradley)
- Enemy at The Gates of Weisz's Vagina (Snake12)
- Another Bushism (Bush_Sucks)
- Breaking News: Steven Seagal movie"Exit Wounds" punches to number one spot! (Masked_Loser)
- College Students Try To Shut Down Newspaper (Dan_in_Cincinnati)
- Allen Iverson is a badass (X-MAN)
- I'm baggin' a Gameboy advance when it comes out (X-MAN)
- What's this all about then? (X-MAN)
- "Exit Wounds" or "Exit Woundz" for the whiggers (Veruca_Salt)
- Me 'n' TheMissus saw a future St. Patrick's Day classic.... (TheWreck)
- Masked Loser present the Volkswagon Movie Trivia Quiz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Masked_Loser)
- Seen it! That Rule Bender: (Coaster)
- Florida just must fry old peoples' brains. (MAYORBOB)
- gimme a break (Fuck_the_president)
- okay. i am afraid. (mia_wallace)
- Parca (Veruca_Salt)
- About the movie's score... (Parca_Mortem)
- "Enemy at the Gates" and "Shadow of the Vampire"... (Parca_Mortem)
- Well, I've pretty much finalized my Oscar predictions... (Eamon_J_Doyle)
- Hey X-MAN! (grundle)
- The Lone Gunmen (Karen_G)
- Willie Horton, Bickle? (X-MAN)
- i wonder what Russians will think about this movie. (0b1knob)
- I look forward to your package, Veruca! And, you other hotties here....... (Secret_Agent_Man)
- NO!!!!! The Biker from Village people died of Lung Cancer today NO!!!!! (Bill_Bradley)
- Damn! (Violet_Beauregarde)
- Yup, Vi (Coaster)
- Um. . . (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- Ken Kaminski :::> Would you care to settle this? (Coaster)
- You got me, Coaster (Whooooeeee!) The Pseudonymic (Violet_Beauregarde)
- It IS his real name, (Bickle)
- My mistake (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- It's not his real name (X-MAN)
- Yeah, see. . . (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- I'm shaking in my boots over here. (Bickle)
- Good God (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- If they're posting from an asylum they won't be out looking for a while (Technomage)
- Fuck you, Techo! (Bickle)
- look, i've lived in a tiny burg (pop 440) for 30 years... (mendo)
- What do you mean "imagine someone posting from an insane asylum"? (MAYORBOB)
- Others who post/have posted using real names... (jen)
- Jenny (Coaster)
- above should read "WAS the name of Uma's character" <nt> Happy Fingers (Coaster)
- Ante up, Bickle. (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- I was asleep (Ken_Kaminski)
- 13415 South Shore Avenue. (Bickle)
- Holy fuck! (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- Christ, man! (skilly)
- Odds bickle's addy doesn't lead to a upperclass hood (llamasex)
- Oh, I saw it, Coaster... (jen)
- Never mind the fact that Bickle doesn't live there right now... (The_Redundant_One)
- Yeah, but someboyd could always show up and attack my family. (Bickle)
- This here thread has won my award for Sublime Hilarity! nt the Imaginary (Mad-Ness_Monster)
- Homeboy (Theodoric)
- I just saw the Corrs at Radio City Music Hall (Lil_Round_Top)
- There is a still which has fallen over Crankyland. (MAYORBOB)
- Nasdaq Combined Composite Index 1,890.910 -49.800 -2.57% the burning man (mendo)
- Have I mentioned that I'm not a people person? (ModernRonin)
- Puff Daddy found not guilty (Master-Control)
- Here's a fun game we can all try. (MAYOBOB)
- Horner (Whisper_and_Sabrina)
- Modern Russian fairy tale -- Humptsky Dumpsky (MAYORBOB)
- A little St. Patrick's Day sentiment. (Lil_Round_Top)
- Hey Cranky, if you want to hear a bad russian accent (spektre)
- GODDAMN TROLLS (spektre)
- Dr. Seuss, Political Pundit (SavageWombat)
- Typical Right-Wing Hysteria From X-Man (George_Spelvin)
- DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lil_Round_Top)
- British Seeking Revenge (tiktok)
- Smithers' donations to Clinton Library really paid off. (MAYORBOB)
- Hi! I'm a newbie here! WAZZZZZZUP, Neighbors? (Biff_The_Porno_Star)
- NCAA Tournament: Don't mess with Texas (convenor)
- Threatening Posts (Mr_Cranky)
- Mayorbob, you have a gun. Use it. (Mr_Mendocino)
- Pork -- it's the other white meat and your tax dollars at work. (MAYORBOB)
- Shedding a little light on the latest from Conqueror Labs. (MAYORBOB)
- I'm outta here! (Homeboy)
- Grundle Ken_Kaminski (Ken_Kaminski)
- Ken AWESOME (llamasex) (Ken_Kaminski)
- Ken (grundle) (Ken_Kaminski)
- llamasex (grundle) (Ken_Kaminski)
- But grundle (new post) (Ken_Kaminski)
- LOL Ken. Stealing is bad. (MAYORBOB)
- Ken, keep stealing. (Viscount_Omega)
- You see what I mean? (Ken_Kaminski)
- What's up with this thread? Violet_Beauregarde (Violet_Beauregarde)
- So, Ken, what you're also saying is... (Mon_Cul)
- Ken (grundle)
- Mon-Cul, haven't been here long, have you? lurker lurker lurker lurker lurker (lurker)
- There's no victims in my system, either (Ken_Kaminski)
- Mon_Cul (Ken_Kaminski)
- This thread now carries... (Wulfgar)
- property is theft... (lurker)
- Ken (Marquis_Omega)
- Omega (Ken_Kaminski)
- Another thing, Omega (Ken_Kaminski)
- Thank you for the reciprocal butt sniffing... (Mon_Cul)
- the issue of victims aside... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
- Ringo (grundle)
- Ringo (Ken_Kaminski)
- grundy, babe, you've hoist yourself on your own petard . . (Hairhead)
- What does that mean? (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- My favorite game! (X-MAN)
- I am not a liberal facist. (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- "Hoist on your own petard" (MAYORBOB)
- Thanks, MAYORBOB. The newly educated (Bubbles_Powerpuff)
- Hairhead (grundle)
- Woah... O_o <nt> Channeling Somebody (Mad-Ness_Monster)
- Re: Petard- (Wulfgar)
- Economics professors agree with me. Here's yet another great example. (grundle)
- Grundle is boring as shit. Here's yet another great example. (The_Redundant_One)
- Sure (X-MAN)
- I didn't. (ShadowEmperor)
- Re: Grundle SoulSorceress
- Read a samplig of actual dialogue between Hitler and his generals during... (MAYORBOB)
- The book which shares this movie's title is excellent. (MAYORBOB)
- I've finally had my first encounter with "Dogma" (Bickle)
- These people make me sick! (J_Smithers_Esq)
- I think the preferred spelling is "Khrushchev" (Yosephi)
- Didja know? (Homeboy)
- Pseudonym (Salamander)
- Ken, did you write those lyrics? (Viscount_Omega)
- Two other movies worth seeing. (MAYORBOB)
If you just posted, hit "reload" on your Web browser to see your comments.
Mr. Cranky's Archives
Mr. Cranky's Home Page
|  |
|