Great Jesus H. Jumped-Up-On-Crystal-Meth Christ All-Bloody-Buggery-MIGHTY!! *WHY* will that vile crusty old Scotsman not retire already??? When I pay the obscene price of eight bucks for a movie, I do NOT want it to act as a free dose of Ipecac syrup as a bonus! I do NOT want to have to sick up popcorn that I have just paid four dollars for! This midlife-crisis trend is cruel and unusual!
Any actress over 30 automatically gets put out to pasture unless she wants to play barren mothers-in-law for the rest of her career-- so it's only fair that those Hollywood bastards stop trying to trick us into believing that shrivelled old men fucking disposable 23-year-old starlets is sexy, because we just ain't buying it. If they must put a smirking self-satisfied Scotsman in such roles, why can't they at least let us look at Ewan McGregor's ass instead? You could bounce a quarter offa that thing, and Ewan doesn't have to shave his back.
Well. Once you get past that, the rest of the movie was even more nauseating. I'm staying home and watching "Cops" instead of even attempting another modern mainstream movie.
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