It's pretty much a given that when Hollywood deals with religion in a movie, the result is going to be a hodge-podge of run-of-the-mill, first-grade philosophy and flavor-of-the-day proselytizing. Such is the case with "Evan Almighty," a repulsive bit of non-denominational sermonizing that's wrapped itself in the cloak of mass appeal.

Many might argue that there isn't enough religion in today's movies, while others would argue that there's entirely too much, particularly the brand promoted in "Evan Almighty," which is the "pick the best parts and toss out all the stuff you don't like" variety.

In "Evan Almighty", God (Morgan Freeman) appears before successful, just-elected New York Congressman Evan Baxter (Steve Carell) and tells him to build an ark to prepare for a flood, which casts him in the obvious role of Noah and initially makes a fool of him. His wife (Lauren Graham), fellow Congressman Long (John Goodman), Chief of Staff, Marty (John Michael Higgins), and Office Manager, Rita (Wanda Sykes), all think he's completely out of his mind.

And frankly, Evan is out-of-his-mind, at least if reality were any concern here. It's one thing to speak to God. It's another thing when God (Morgan Freeman) speaks back. When God actually does speak back and we acknowledge it, one of two things happens: Either we're wrestled to the ground and dragged off to an asylum or we start a war in Iraq.

Because the film so blithely disregards the intelligence of its audience, theists could rightly argue that they're all being characterized as idiots. For example, despite Joan's (Graham) incredulousness, she takes all of two seconds to allow Evan to go build his ark. Evan does so, with the help of his three kids, and they produce a frame for a boat the size of the QE2 in about a week.

This film poses a battle between faith and reason and reason gets body slammed right through the floor, just like it's been getting abused for the last, oh, seven years. "Evan Almighty" tries to include a little piety for everyone. When director Tom Shadyac takes time to show Evan's Hummer being swept asunder in the flood, we know that we're being slapped on the hand for our material natures. When Congressman Long is finally put down for exploiting public lands for personal gain, it's the environmentalists' turn to judge. Given that these points about excess are being made by a film that cost $175 million dollars, I wanted to vomit.

At the end of this movie, religious liberals and religious conservatives can join hands, lock lips, and share bodily fluids because there's just no damn way anybody could disagree with the importance of love and acts of random kindness (A.R.K.). Unfortunately, the main thing that "Evan Almighty" conveys to me is that religion and stupidity go together like peanut butter and jelly.