Fair Game

Bomb Rating: 

Cindy Crawford is the poor man's Kathy Ireland. It seems that no matter what she's doing, be it berating a fellow lawyer or jumping off the edge of an exploding boat, the tone of her voice reflects all the excitement of someone selling deodorized shoe inserts.

Director Andrew Sipes does a fine job of pretending to make an action movie. I particularly liked the part where Max (William Baldwin) has to hide in the bed of a pickup truck before shooting two baddies. Instead of just sitting up and shooting, he kicks open the rear door, then sits up and shoots, as if the challenge of killing two former KGB officers with laser-sighted, automatic weapons just wasn't manly enough. Sipes also has Kate (Cindy Crawford) get blown off her house in a massive explosion that doesn't even singe an eyelash, even though the heat would make Cindy look less like a supermodel and more like a toasty ball-park frank.

For drama, there's the predictable animosity between cop Max and lawyer Kate at the beginning of the film, because without the animosity, the resolution of the sexual tension would be over with a quick trot to a motel room. However, it doesn't say much for William Baldwin's sexual prowess that when he does finally get Cindy into the sack and is busily humping away, Cindy is able to notice a bad guy about to shoot them, grab a gun near Willy's rear end, then sit up and pop the guy just in the nick of time. One suspects she might have also been working on a crossword puzzle on the nightstand.

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