bleah





Fear


Mr. Cranky's rating:
3 bombs


The story is so overdone that anyone with a brain bigger than a golf ball will be able to predict not only everything that happens, but also the precise sequence of all the shots.



If you've seen the trailers for this film (or even know anything about it) the entire first hour is like watching grass grow. Young maniac terrorizes young girl and family -- it's "Teenage Fatal Attraction" or "Cape Fear," only without the "Cape." Why does director James Foley even bother to try to make David (Mark Wahlberg) seem like a nice guy when we already know he's a psychopath? Presumably to rattle off enough contemporary songs to fill a soundtrack and make absolutely sure that everyone is convinced that Reese Witherspoon has larger breasts than Alicia Silverstone.

The story is so overdone that anyone with a brain bigger than a golf ball will be able to predict not only everything that happens, but also the precise sequence of all the shots. Nicole (Reese Witherspoon) gives a hug to a male friend at school. Gee, I wonder if the next shot will be an ominous look from David hiding in the bushes?

Foley follows all the stupid rules for psychopath thrillers. First of all, psychopathic killers are always seen lifting weights or tattooing something on themselves before wreaking havoc. Another rule: If the film contains a littler brother or sister and a family pet, the psychopathic killer will always end up playing croquet with the decapitated head of one of the two.

Mark Wahlberg's attempts to come off as menacing are laughable at best. The only thing scary about Wahlberg is that he sounds like he's trying to lick peanut butter off the roof of his mouth every time he talks. However, if you're afraid of rap artists who suddenly think themselves actors, you'll no doubt be cowering under your seat in fear.

Was it really that bad?
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