Fled

Bomb Rating: 

You'll hear the words "get the disk" so many times, you'll seriously consider giving up the comforts of modern life and moving into a grass hut somewhere.

There is such a long string of clich├ęs and stupidity linkingtogether the scenes in "Fled" that it more closely resembles one of the "Naked Gun" movies than an action film.

Director Kevin ("Passenger 57") Hooks and Screenwriter Preston Whitmore should next team together to do the film version of the children's classic "Dick and Jane," for all the effort they've made at complexity in this laughable outing. Shortly after convicts Piper (Laurence Fishburne) and Dodge (Stephen Baldwin) have escaped from a chain gang (run, Dodge, run!), Dodge explains the plot: "I stole money from a big corporation by hacking into their computer. I put some information on a disk. Now they must want the disk. We have to get that disk." In fact, you'll hear the words "get the disk" so many times, you'll seriously consider giving up the comforts of modern life and moving into a grass hut somewhere.

Next, all the characters start getting the "Dick and Jane" treatment. Dodge and Piper run into Cora (Salma Hayek), a Mexican woman who talks to herself all the time in Spanish because that's what Mexicans do in crappy, simplistic films. It's nothing short of drop-dead funny when she explains how she met her first husband: "I was sneaking across the border." Then there's Dodge's stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold girlfriend: "I had to do something to pay my tuition." Then there's the Cuban bad guy on his fascination with different forms of torture: "It's part of my mongrel upbringing on the streets of New York."

As we wait for the climax of a plot whose resolution is revealed within the first ten minutes, the "Dick and Jane" treatment infects the action scenes like some runaway plague. The pointless fighting at the beginning of the film is one thing, but the high-speed chase between the Lincoln Town Car and the souped-up racing bikes was quite another. We're talking about a maneuverability difference comparable to that between a puma and Rush Limbaugh, yet the Town Car is always right behind the racing bikes.

See Kevin direct. See Preston write. See movie suck.

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