Flubber

Bomb Rating: 

"Flubber" is further evidence of the death of cinema.

After seeing this film I had a headache that lasted well into the next day. Disney has sent me several Flubber promotional items in apology. The first was a mouse pad filled with green liquid, just perfect for the curious youngster who might bite into the thing and drink the radioactive goo. The second was some awful-smelling, putty-like "Flubber" stuff that looked like a choking lawsuit waiting to happen. The final thing was "dancing Flubber on a stick," which shook about whenever I made a noise. Clearly, this isn't a film, but an extended advertisement for Flubber products. Thus it's surprising that of the many forms Flubber takes during this film, not one of them is a of a greasy green prostitute.

"Flubber" is further evidence of the death of cinema. Hollywood has rejected the writer in favor of the computer geek who sits by himself in some office downloading pornography and figuring out bigger and better ways to make artificial things seem real. The masturbatory similarities are astounding.

In "Flubber," a remake of 1961's "The Absent-Minded Professor," Disney has combined its gift for wasting lavish sums of money with the appeal of Robin Williams in hopes of tricking people into thinking the film is funny. In reality, the movie consists of Disney's pricey special effects creations zipping around the screen while Robin's character, Professor Phillip Brainard, chases them. Ever aware of the insatiable hunger America's children have for violence, Disney throws in numerous "money shots" of Brainard and assorted foils suffering falls, sprains, bruises, contusions and concussions in the process.

For emotion, Disney has come up with a love affair between Brainard and his robot assistant, Weebo. While Brainard is trying to remember his wedding to Sara (Marcia Gay Harden) amidst his Flubber discovery, Weebo becomes increasingly hot for some kind of human-computer intercourse. Pathetic. It should be no surprise that this film was written by John Hughes who, like his special effects people, is obviously spending too much time home alone.

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