For Love of the Game

Bomb Rating: 

This is because the game is slower than Monica Lewinsky on Celebrity Jeopardy.

Oh, goody. More Kevin Costner and more baseball. Let's face it, the only reason baseball is America's pastime is that horribly overweight, out-of-shape fat guys can play it well into their forties. If Costner tried making a movie about a sport requiring actual physical fitness, he'd probably strike out.

In most baseball movies, the directors try to avoid the actual baseball, for the most part. This is because the game is slower than Monica Lewinsky on Celebrity Jeopardy. Director Sam Raimi is no exception, as pitcher Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner) gets involved in a perfect game (where the pitcher retires all 27 batters, hopefully making the entire contest take about an hour) while reminiscing about his relationship with Jane Aubrey (Kelly Preston).

Basically, Chapel is your typical self-absorbed jock who realizes in one night that baseball isn't everything and oh, how cool it would be to spend the rest of his life with the large-breasted wife of John Travolta. I mention the large breasts and the marriage to John Travolta not to be sexist, but to emphasize all three of Preston's qualifications for being in this film. What, exactly, has she done, other than flash her tits and marry Travolta? Answer: nada.

Basically, most people will sit through the first half of this film wondering what the hell the point is, then realize where it's going, then wonder for the last half if their incessant yawning might require medical attention. Why director Sam ("Evil Dead 2") Raimi got involved with this film is anybody's guess. It certainly would have benefited from a loose eyeball or severed hand.

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