Freddy vs. Jason

Bomb Rating: 

The actual fight between Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees comprises a minuscule portion of the film and has all the excitement of a Michael Moore belly dance.

Think of all the interesting battles this film could have featured: "Roseanne vs. Oprah," "Ashcroft vs. Flynt," "Coulter vs. Her Own Ham-Sized Adam's Apple." Nevertheless, New Line Studios, home of the never-ending franchise, has seen fit to resurrect a couple of its worse-than-dead horror series in the form of an extra-gory WWF wrestling match.

At least that's what they want you to think. However, following the introduction of a group of sickeningly familiar teenagers and a narrative structure that would give James Joyce a seizure, horror aficionados expecting to see something a little different will be dashing for the exits in a futile attempt to escape their own personal twilight zone.

The actual fight between Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) and Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger) comprises a minuscule portion of the film and has all the excitement of a Michael Moore belly dance. The filmmakers don't even have the guts to declare a victor because somebody in the bowels of New Line is trying to budget for the sale of hockey masks 47 Halloweens from now.

The plot, if you could call it that, features Freddy resurrecting Jason to do some killing on Elm Street so that the townsfolk remember Freddy, thereby renewing his power over them. When Jason gets out of control, Freddy fights him to reclaim his rightful place as mass murderer du jour. If simply forgetting Freddy is the key to banishing him to oblivion forever, this film should certainly do the trick.

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