Full Metal Jacket

Bomb Rating: 

Sitting through this film is like watching "Hogan's Heroes" on crack.

Like everybody else, the first time I saw "Full Metal Jacket" Ifigured the hard-core, hard-ass drill Sergeant (Lee Ermey) would eventually soften toward the developmentally-challenged Pyle (Vincent D'Onofrio) and befriend him while teaching him the meaning of life and commitment. Then Pyle would go rescue his girlfriend from her factory job and they would live happily ever after.

Little did I know that Stanley Kubrick directed the movie, a discovery analogous to walking into a Basic Drawing class and having the professor tell you that you've accidentally enrolled in Philosophy 8000: Heidegger's "Being in the World." Essence, existence or entomological career?

Sitting through this film is like watching "Hogan's Heroes" on crack. The invective-spewing Sargeant berates Pyle to the point of psychosis, turning him from Barney Fife into the Terminator. Next thing you know, Andy's brains are splattered all over the wall, Aunt Bea has been raped and Opie's been skinned alive.

After Pyle and fellow soldier, Joker (Matthew Modine), are done being all they can be (although they're in the Marines), Kubrick ships Joker off to Vietnam where he watches people shoot a lot of stuff. Mainly they shoot buildings, which seems to be Kubrick's explanation for America's failure in Vietnam: If you can't see it, you probably can't hit it. Twenty years of retrospect and that's the best he could come up with? Where's the "space aliens transported down from the moon and confused the troops" plot when you need it?

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seems more like your just

yourabiasedreviewer's picture

seems more like your just completely biased against Kubrick and completely misunderstand his films, completely.

This site is for satire yourabiasedreviewer

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

Thank you very much for your post.  Please post again.  In this silly place a one bomb review is high praise.

{;-) Dan in Miami

 

SATIRE!?!

Wulfgar's picture

I make all my movie-viewing decisions based on the reviews alone!

 

 

Zoinks!

~No, my young padawan; this one is mine.~

 

the only thing bad he could say

Decaf's picture

was that it was too harsh? thats how you can tell its a good movie. I liked the part about shooting buildings though. 

Best part were the explatives. Skullfuck was my favorite

~Decaf_Recaf

 

I liked the part about Aunt Bea being raped

Rajah's picture

And Opie being skinned alive but that's just me

P.S. could we get another sponsor besides....

Rajah's picture

"I cured my yellow teeth"?

From the looks of those gums they'd better find a cure for gingivitis

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