Galaxy Quest
Mr. Cranky's rating:
What's most infuriating about this film is that somebody is forcing me to spend two hours following Tim Allen around. Allen is so full of himself he sprays his ego around like a male cat with a urinary tract infection.
If you're suffering from low self-esteem, there are a number of tried and true ways to make yourself feel better. Parking in the handicapped spot is always a good one, as is passing out phony twenty dollar bills to the homeless. However, if you're really desperate to remind yourself that you're not the most pathetic person on the face of the earth, attend a Star Trek or Star Wars convention. You'll walk away feeling like the Lord of the Universe. Since screwing with the handicapped and the homeless isn't exactly a great idea for a feature film (or is it?), the filmmakers of "Galaxy Quest" chose to belittle the "Star Trek" phenomena. The idea is that, many years after the cancellation of the original show, the cast of "Galaxy Quest" is still making a living doing conventions, and the Commander, actor Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) is still stealing the spotlight from Gwen DeMarco (Sigourney Weaver), Alexander Dane (Alan Rickman), Fred Kwan (Tony Shalhoub) and Tommy Webber (Daryl Mitchell).
Comfortably resting in the bowels of their lives, the actors are approached by real aliens who think the show is a "historical document." They are whisked into outer space where they're asked to fight a real space battle in a real space ship against the evil Sarris (Robin Sachs). Note that the freaky aliens are the ones who think the show is real. So, in other words, if you're so into "Star Trek" or "Star Wars" that you think it's real, you're a freaky alien.
Ultimately, what's most infuriating about this film is that somebody is forcing me to spend two hours following Tim Allen around. Allen is so full of himself he sprays his ego around like a male cat with a urinary tract infection. Now that his wife has begun to sag noticeably, Allen (a la Kevin Costner) has divorced her after double digit years together to chase younger tail. "Galaxy Quest" is a lovely reminder of Hollywood's "kick 'em when they're down" philosophy of life.
Was it really that bad?
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Messages:
Public Apology to Jessalyn Leyra Karen_G
Funny John_Holliday
Galaxy Quest tastle
What a crapfest (metaletemon27)
Galaxy Quest: My review (power_critic)
never surrender, never watch this show (NoBull911)
Marvelous Spoof, Clever Script (Cosmos)
uh.....uh....... (lickme)
Pleace Help (kltpzyxm)
I thought it was funny (catcrazy)
I thought it was fun (Captain-Vicious)
This film rocks King (Junk_Yard_Dog)
Royalty payments (Wizard-of-AUS)
I liked it (Wolfman)
A disappointment (SavageSteve13)
classic (guru_bitterness)
Galaxy Quest (Vinylman)
I saw "Soldier" over vacation... (Poor_College_Boy)
ANNOUNCEMENT! CRANKY PICS! (jen)
Newsflash! Elian Gonzalez to return to father. Two Women Escaping in a (Phonebooth)
gnosticdogma/Discord Dialogues #25: "Star Wars" (gnosticdogma)
THINGS YOU'D NEVER KNOW IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MOVIES: (space_waster)
Do Do Do Do Do Do - some movie things (Nathan_Jr)
Grammy take me home, Grammy take me home... (Throwing_Muses)
mia's beauty tip #2 (mia_wallace)
These new dates are tripping me out. (Masterless)
X-Man - Millhouse connection (Sal_Paradise)
If last decade was the 90s....... (Throwing_Muses)
Y2K sucks (Homeboy)
Women, dating, relationships, etc... (grundle)
!!!!! (the_celluloid_prophet)
A married man's response... (Homeboy)
I'm awake! (jen)
Just to clarify... (jen)
I disagree (oh, you all KNEW I would) (CreepFreakLoser)
I'm not going to flame you, CFL... (jen)
Although, CFL.. (jen)
Men ARE sexist pigs! (CreepFreakLoser)
BTW, jen, related to this topic: (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
CFL... (jen)
Responses to #2, 7, 9 and 10 (IrvingPThorneIII)
Follow-up... (jen)
grundle (Roy_Foltrigg)
Jen (IrvingPThorneIII)
Arg... (IrvingPThorneIII)
Good call, grundle <nt> (Throwing_Muses)
Well... (Amok)
an unmarried man's responses the_very_sexy_ (JabBerwoCk)
Irving & Jabber (jen)
"Physical attractiveness being most important" (Emerald)
By the way, grundle.. (Emerald)
On physical attractiveness (Roy_Foltrigg)
Re: Women, dating, relationships, etc... (mia_wallace)
Grundle... (speaker4dead)
Another thing about attractiveness... (jen)
Oh mia, marriage isn't a Christian invention (Jack-Em-Up_JACKAL)
CFL's List (CreepFreakLoser)
marriage (mia_wallace)
Jackal.. (speaker4dead)
CFL (Roy_Foltrigg)
Emerald, Roy and jen/Homeboy (CreepFreakLoser)
The others (Jab, Roy, Amok, Irving)... (CreepFreakLoser)
Grundle (X-MAN)
grundle and CFL (Bureaucrat)
Okay, my turn (Nick-The-Knife)
Nick, tcp is the only person in Crankyland who can answer your question (CreepFreakLoser)
But, CFL... (jen)
CFL (DMagic)
CFL... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
X-MAN, CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
Oh, and CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
Rhea Perlman is about the same size as Danny DeVito (Nick-The-Knife)
Yes, Nick... (the_celluloid_prophet)
As for Danny... (Amok)
Amok (the_celluloid_prophet)
Oh, and CFL... (Amok)
TCP (Amok)
DMagic (Throwing_Muses)
Amok (the_celluloid_prophet)
tcp (Masterless)
CFL the_ladies_man,_ (JabBerwoCk)
Thanks, Masterless, but.... (the_celluloid_prophet)
grundle has jinxed me - part 1 of 2; Devito, jen & Ringo (CreepFreakLoser)
Part 2 of 2 -- tcp, Jab and others (CreepFreakLoser)
TCP (Amok)
CFL, Amok (the_celluloid_prophet)
Correction... (Amok)
One more thing.... (the_celluloid_prophet)
"No one's sure as hell gonna get dates hangin' around here." (CreepFreakLoser)
It never ends. Never, never, never... (Nick-The-Knife)
Nick... (jen)
You two (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL (DMagic)
CFl... (jen)
PS... (jen)
TCP (Amok)
Nick-the-Knife and Amok (the_celluloid_prophet)
TCP (X-MAN)
DMagic, tcp & jen (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL... (jen)
X-MAN (the_celluloid_prophet)
Oh, for Fuck's Sake! (skilly)
Oh, and did I mention.... (the_celluloid_prophet)
And still no word from grundle... (Throwing_Muses)
What the fuck is wrong with suspenders?!?! (Nick-The-Knife)
1/3 of young gay people are…. (Bendova)
The real work needs to be done by casting your vote. (Bendova)
Bendova TAFKA (Ratt)
Ben, TCP (The_Redundant_One)
There is always hope (Bendova)
Look at all the Black kids with no male roll models....... (Bendova)
Nick-the-Knife, Bendova, Redundant... (the_celluloid_prophet)
"Roll" model? (the_celluloid_prophet)
"Role" models? (Throwing_Muses)
Damn, TCP! You beat me to it! :) <nt> (Throwing_Muses)
CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
TCP (The_Redundant_One)
Redundant (the_celluloid_prophet)
All right.... (The_Redundant_One)
"ROLL" Models (Bendova)
jen & tcp (CreepFreakLoser)
Well, CFL, you're right... (jen)
What I told the dead fish (CreepFreakLoser)
Oh, my God, CFL!!! You're....you're.....BLACK??!!!! (IrvingPThorneIII)
God help you CFL (DMagic)
Really Quick, CFL... (jen)
Ahhhhh... (jen)
So, what happened, Jen? (IrvingPThorneIII)
Hey look at me do my Creep Freak Loser impression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bendova)
HOLD ON!!!......CREEP FREAK LOSER has an important announcement!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bendova)
I was rejected! (jen)
Jen/Bendova (IrvingPThorneIII)
Yeah...and for the Ramboes out there... (jen)
Calm down, DMagic (CreepFreakLoser)
ben (Nicky)
CFL, I think you should just eliminate any derivative of the word "reject" (IrvingPThorneIII)
Better Living Through Chemistry. (liquid-sunshine)
CFL... (jen)
And personally... (jen)
Liquid! (IrvingPThorneIII)
Irv (liquid-sunshine)
Excuse me, Sunny.. (jen)
AW jen... (liquid-sunshine)
Speaking Of Dates. (liquid-sunshine)
Of course the first time people compliment Bendova for flaming somebody... (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL. (liquid-sunshine)
Oh For God's sake... (jen)
PS (jen)
No, Sunshine... (jen)
Well, I for one have grown weary of this incessant "poor little me" crap... (IrvingPThorneIII)
Jen (the_celluloid_prophet)
What is a 'Date' (Nicky)
No jen. (liquid-sunshine)
According to the American Heritage Dictionary... (IrvingPThorneIII)
A story for CFL (Fat_Ed)
I Don't Care What Dictionaries Say. (liquid-sunshine)
Since she probably won't be here to clarify.... (the_celluloid_prophet)
In my opinion... (skilly)
Nicky, sorry, but I cannot take credit for that parody of CFL (Bendova)
Oh Ok (Nicky)
Thought it sounded like Gump... (jen)
If CFL Was Hurt By Gump's Parody... (liquid-sunshine)
Liquid (Fat_Ed)
FAT_HEAD (liquid-sunshine)
jen, Irving, liquid, Fat Ed & tcp (CreepFreakLoser)
Liquid (Fat_Ed)
First Meeting Sex? (liquid-sunshine)
Fat_Head (liquid-sunshine)
Liquid (Fat_Ed)
Fat_Head. (liquid-sunshine)
Well that was fun.......... (Pvt_Gump)
Gump. (liquid-sunshine)
Liquid (Fat_Ed)
Well..... (jen)
jen. (liquid-sunshine)
Fat_Head. (liquid-sunshine)
You were right, CFL. I didn't read the post (Nick-The-Knife)
Nick. (liquid-sunshine)
Jen (the_celluloid_prophet)
"Eeeet cho poosay?" (skilly)
CFL and everyone, I guess (the_celluloid_prophet)
Skilly (liquid-sunshine)
Addendum To My Last post. (liquid-sunshine)
The evolution of this thread (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL, as one of the "high-fivers"....... (Throwing_Muses)
CFL. (liquid-sunshine)
Eventhough I'm not invovled in this thread... (Veruca_Salt)
I'm still here. (grundle)
TCP (jen)
Liquid... (IrvingPThorneIII)
fine (DMagic)
Dmagic (Veruca_Salt)
no problem Veruca.....he's pissin me the hell of! <nt> (DMagic000)
CFL, you are a FUCKING PUSSY!!! (Nick-The-Knife)
Nick: (NeptuneSalad)
Violet's Review of Galaxy Quest <minor spoilers> (Violet_Beauregarde)
something about enhancing bras.... (Loco_Bahamut)
I just want to say... (grundle)
Grundle (Anon_Lady)
Ooh! Looks like we got a new troll! (grundle)
actually... (grundle)
also... (grundle)
leave grundle alone, teh_ (JabBerwoCk)
JabBerwoCk (grundle)
Grundle and JabberingWank (Anon_Lady)
Yippie skippie... (Lionel_Cosgrove)
Question... Two Women Escaping in a (Phonebooth)
Phonebooth (Anon_Lady)
Nope, sorry... Unlike you, we already got one. (nt) Two Women Escaping in a (Phonebooth)
Anon Lady needs a friend (Reinhold-the-German-Guy)
Not that it needs to be said... (jen)
what the fuck???? (Loco_Bahamut)
What's wrong with flapjacks? (Hippolyta)
Anon the_ (JabBerwoCk)
you know what? (mia_wallace)
about the wonder bra (mia_wallace)
Am I the only one who noticed this? (Nick-The-Knife)
By the way (Nick-The-Knife)
Trolls say the darndest things... (IrvingPThorneIII)
Irv... Psychic-Powered (Wulfgar)
And yet, you haven't gotten over it, Wulfie. (Pat-The-Bunny)
Trolls, Acne, Bras, etc. (Corthas)
More about enhancing bras....(getting back to the original topic) (The_Redundant_One)
I said to myself "Self..." Super Dynamo Action (Wulfgar)
Gosh, I never thought of you as stupid, Wulfgar (Pat-The-Bunny)
Uh oh, looks like someone's off his Focusyn (convenor)
Here's another opportunity to call me ignorant, convenor (Pat-The-Bunny)
Being redundant, I agree with Redundant (CreepFreakLoser)
convenor... Rough Mean Orderly (Wulfgar)
A twinge of conscience? (convenor)
Now, Wulfgar... (IrvingPThorneIII)
A lunatic? That's pretty cool! (Pat-The-Bunny)
Back on the Focusyn and armed with a thesaurus (convenor)
Sorry, Patty-Cake... A Man Among Men (Wulfgar)
Clerks: The Cartoon (arkham_inmate)
Has anyone else noticed all of the new posters? (white-heat)
Poll of the week--Pudding, Jell-o, and Flan, (grab a spoon everybody!) (Emerald)
my answers (arkham_inmate)
Re: Poll of the week--Pudding, Jell-o, and Flan, (grab a spoon everybody!) (Junk_Yard_Dog)
:( (Masterless)
Re: Answers (Mr-Mucus)
Nah. (Emerald)
And why are you frowning? (Emerald)
Re: Poll of the week--Pudding, Jell-o, and Flan, (grab a spoon everybody!) (Hazel_of_Watership_Down)
Answers... (Morrison_Hotel)
Answer Quest (Throwing_Muses)
Ha, ha. Melons. (Violet_Beauregarde)
Jello-esque answers (Lionel_Cosgrove)
Emerald's Semiprecious Poll (The_Redundant_One)
Answers to Emerald's Poll (the_celluloid_prophet)
Splattered on the Poll Two Women Escaping in a (Phonebooth)
Re: Poll of the week--Pudding, Jell-o, and Flan, (grab a spoon everybody!) (Technomage)
TCP, are you serious? (Junk_Yard_Dog)
The key to # 1 is "stop being polite" (CreepFreakLoser)
tcp -- your answer to # 10 (CreepFreakLoser)
JYD, CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
Oh, CFL! (the_celluloid_prophet)
CFL!!!! (Violet_Beauregarde)
oh, and CFL: (the_celluloid_prophet)
Re: Love? (Mr-Mucus)
Jello Pudding Pops! Dad is great, give us the chocolate ANSWERS! (Jack-Em-Up_JACKAL)
CFL's real view on "love" (with X-MANisms filtered out) (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL (the_celluloid_prophet)
Boring answers... (Eamon_J_Doyle)
Re: (Veruca_Salt)
okay okay okay...my answers (mia_wallace)
So many "Real World" scenarios..... (TheGodmother)
*gasp* (Veruca_Salt)
I'll be damned if that's the PAAAAAAAARTY Crew, Godmother (CreepFreakLoser)
Screw you, CFL! (The_Redundant_One)
Damn straight!!! :) (Violet_Beauregarde)
Hey, how did this decent poll escape my notice for so long? (X-MAN)
I do apologize to Redundant and Violet (CreepFreakLoser)
I know (X-MAN)
Then I take it... (Nicky)
Nicky, you so funny! X-MAN: (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL (Nicky)
CFL... (Violet_Beauregarde)
CFL (The_Redundant_One)
This looks familiar (mixtligan)
Must... post... lyrics... (CreepFreakLoser)
First for 1900 (Junk_Yard_Dog)
Firsty for the new year! (grundle)
Poll,what movie is everyone looking the most forward to next year? (white-heat)
i am gonna wearr my trojen condoom tonight!!!!!!! (Simon_the_Great)
I've got a question about Tim Allen (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
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