Get Over It

Bomb Rating: 

Apparently any writer who's even considering a teen film these days is rifling the pockets of Shakespeare's corpse for a plot.

Teen films tend to be much like teen fads -- shooting squirrels is in fashion, and suddenly everyone is doing it. In this case, the dead squirrel du jour is Shakespeare, and apparently any writer who's even considering a teen film these days is rifling the pockets of Shakespeare's corpse for a plot. Why is this happening, you ask? The answer is simple: A writer who can offer no new ideas suddenly looks sophisticated when he bases his totally unoriginal screenplay on the work of a famous English playwright -- yet updates it so modern teenagers will "identify" with it. Of course, teachers in our disintegrating educational system love this crap, because it means that instead of forcing their students to actually read "A Midsummer Night's Dream," they can just pop a tape in the VCR and then go take a smoke break.

"Get Over It" uses "Midsummer" to tell the story of Berke Lawrence (Ben Foster), who's been in love with Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) all his life, and is heartbroken when she suddenly drops him and starts dating the obnoxious Striker (Shane West). As he tries to upstage Striker, who has the lead role in the school's "Midsummer" remake, he's helped by his best friend's younger sister, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst) and gradually starts to fall for her -- a development that becomes painfully obvious, oh, about two seconds after they lay eyes on each other.

Martin Short plays the flamboyant drama teacher. I don't know if anyone noticed, but it's against the law not to modify Martin Short with the word "flamboyant." This is a kindly way of saying he annoys the piss out of everyone. Remember, he had a television show and nobody watched. There's a REASON. He's like the uncle at Thanksgiving who you pray to God doesn't drink too much. There's also a kid in the film who has the biggest frickin' nose I've ever seen in my life. I mean, when they invented plastic surgery, they were thinking of this kid.

The filmmakers work hard to indoctrinate young boys into their Hollywood way of thinking: Gorgeous women will go out with the first pimply-faced geek they run into, and any that don't are bitches or idiots. Allison's character is ridiculed because she drops the bland Berke in favor of the overly obnoxious Striker. Meanwhile, Kelly is coming on to Berke like a poodle in heat, yet he just drones on about not being with Allison. Either this nerd's been mixing up pheromones in the chemistry lab, or he's the most fortunate kid alive and should thank his lucky stars that two babes of this caliber would even come within sniffing distance -- much less actually date him.

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