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As Pressidenat, I pledje:
1. DDMajic & all HOT-T-T-T chikks must ware lingeree or less 24/7.
2. Jennefer Loves Me Hewett must show her HOOTERS in everry moovee & TV show from heer on out!!!!!!
2A. SlopDrop must rassle Stones Coled Steve Austen at tha next WWF PPV in a Tripple Cage Deeth Match & if Sloppy wins he gets a operration 2 gets a weener so he can plessure Shrily 4 reel instedd of tryeing 2 hire me as a studd 4 her!!!!!
3. A 24 houer Rassling TV Channel wit no commersials MUST be in everry single home!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Rosee Oddonnell & tha Afro-Ammerican Shrilly, aka Shrilly, r BANNED from TV & moovees!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Shrilly & Slopdrop will be forsed 2 appeer on Tha Jerry Springer show whare tha theem is "Guys wit no Weener & tha Desperrate Pill Poppping Trailer SLuts Who Will WOnt Em."
6. Jerry Springer will be my Vise-Pressidant!!!!!!
7. Mens can marrey as manny chikks as dhey wont, butts wommens can onley be marryed 2 one mans!!!!!!!
8. SLopDrop & Slatter's "Vickto/Vicktoria" Bath House must be closed down immediattly!!!!!!!
9. Verucuda Salt will be my intern!!!!!!!!!!
10. A HOOTERS restarrant on everry corner & all wateresses will be topless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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