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Saturday, May 20, 2000 Los Angeles Times, Calender Section, Page 1.
English department administrators at UCLA announced today it will proceed with its suit against DreamWorks Distribution for defiling the english language. Furthermore, the L.A. district attourneys office is considering charges of contributing to the illiteracy of minors and malicious intent. The actions are a result of DreamWorks failure to correct or remove thousands of 'Gladiator' posters improperly stating the gadiator 'will rise' as opposed to the grammatically correct 'shall arise'. D.A. Gill Garcetti recently ordered the posters removed after the incident May 11th when 9 English exchange students passed out at the Century City AMC after reading the advertisement. One remains in a coma. Executive producer Walter F. Parkes has maintained the posters printer changed the wording without authorization saying that "Shall arise wouldn't all fit on there and would have looked funny". Proponents of the now priceless posters agree the phrase would have ruined the asthetics of the promotional tool and turned off women who are into viewing sweaty gladiator pics. UCLA professor Will U. Ramme disagrees: "I like sweaty gladiators just as much as the next guy but that horrible phrase in the background distracts you from concentrating on this fine specimen of a man". LAPD officers are deluged with reports of bookworms vandalizing posters with binding glue and teachers blocking entrances with dictionaries. When asked about the dispute Russell Crowe, star of 'Gladiator' responded: "I just want to go home" and "Where's my mommy". Ridley Scott, who was last seen at Disneyland, could not be reached for comment. A civil hearing will be held monday. Critic Roger Ebert added: "They deserve it. I had a huge bug up my ass when I saw it and it totally sucked. They can just all go to hell".
Reported by: L.A. Rulz
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