09/26/01: A list of bi actors.

Posted By: Poor_College_Boy


1: Nicolas Cage in: a) psycho-mode, b) morose, calm, bored mode?

B, morose. He's not that bad as a psycho, but for some reason I just don't buy it often.

2: Al Pacino in: a) Frank Slade "hoo-ha!" mode, or b) "Serpico"/"Dog Day Afternoon" mad shouting mode.

Mad shouting. I hate the "hoo-ha" mode.

3: Harrison Ford in: a) cowboyish Han Solo/Indiana Jones mode, or b) angry/worried decent American responsible father mode?

God, the worried father mode is so wack, as they say. Cowboyish Han Solo mode, definitely.

4: Jeremy Irons in: a) calm, classy gentleman mode, b) perpetually angry villain mode?

Perpetually angry villian.

5: John Lithgow in: a) goofy, comedic mode, b) scary criminal gone bonkers mode.

He's a pretty good psycho criminal type guy.

6: Kurt Russel in: a) bad ass killer mode, b) perpetually immature guy with a heart of gold mode, c) wimpy, responsible, concerned 40-something mode. Okay, so he's tri- modal.

SOLDIER MODE SOLDIER MODE SOLDIER MODE SOLDIER MODE YAY YAY YAY SOLDIER

7: Robin Williams in: a) retard on crack mode, b) serious, calm, quiet guy with facial hair mode.

Retard on crack. Bicentennial Man made me think of Mr. Roboto, except gayer.

8: Anthony Hopkins in: a) savage serial killer mode, b) gentleman/butler mode.

Go for the upset and say gentleman butler here, although it's still sort of weird to see him in gentleman mode aafter SotL.

9: Edward Norton in: a) wimpy guy mode, b) dangerous jerk mode.

Dangerous jerk. Wimpy guy is much less satisfying to watch (See: American History X vs. Keeping the Faith)

10: Samuel L. Jackson in: a) seriously disturbed bad ass having a bad hair day mode, b) serious guy wearing glasses who gets angry easily.

Ummm, both?

11: Keanu Reeves in: a) Ted without Bill mode, or b) "I'm trying to act here, okay? Look, I have a serious face!" mode.

Trying to act here serious face. C'mon, if I wanted to watch Bill and Ted I'd watch Bill and Ted. I ain't going to see it in the theater anyway, and I'll get it on video for free, so who cares?

12: Jack Nicholson in: a) likable jerk who growls a lot mode, or b) whiny guy who looks constipated and is waiting for the chance to go bonkers mode.

Chinatown.

13: Dennis Hopper in: a) 'I inhaled that gas from "Blue Velvet"' mode, b) 'I inhaled, but I didn't exhale, and I took some acid a long with it, and snorted some cocaine left over from "The Last Movie"' mode.

Hoosiers

14: Wesley Snipes in: a) amusing jerk mode, b) guy with no personality mode.

As long as he's beating people up, guy with no personality mode.

15: Bill Paxton in: a) goofball supporting character mode, b) "serious" lead character mode.

Bill Paxton sucks. Make him a serious lead so I'll know to avoid the movie straight from the getgo, instead of finding out once I'm already in the theater.

16: Billy Bob Thornton in: a) mentally deficient redneck mode, or b) calm, smart guy in control mode.

Smart guy in control.

17: Robert Englund in: a) nice, whimpy guy mode, b) over- the-top psycho mode.

Duh, psycho mode. He's creepy.

18: Robert Carlyle in: a) sweet guy with blonde hair mode, or b) fun-loving psycho with dark hair mode.

Sweet blonde.

19: Arnold Shwarzenegger in: a) "Terminator" mode, b) tough but fun guy with a heart of gold "Kindergarten Cop" mode.

Terminator mdoe.

20: Bruce Willis in: a) "Die Hard"/"Moonlighting" wise-ass mode, b) mournful guy with a shaved head mode

Wise ass. Except more Die Hard, less Hudson Hawk, dig?


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