The Godfather

Bomb Rating: 

Take Mr. Cranky's one-question quiz.

Want to understand bad melodrama? Take Mr. Cranky's one-question quiz:

The head of one of the largest Italian mafia families -- a family comprised of the likes of Don Corleone (Marlon Brando), Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall), Sonny (James Caan) and Michael (Al Pacino) for example -- comes to you and asks for a favor. This favor might be inconvenient, but it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility. Your response is:

A) You agree to do the favor.
B) You negotiate a bit, with the intention of agreeing.
C) You say "I need to think about it" and then don't return any of the Godfather's calls.
D) You spit out your cannoli and call the Godfather or his representative "a stupid !@#$%^ guinea."

Pardon me for being a bit skeptical about the intelligence of the characters faced with such decisions in "The Godfather," but it seems to me they're a bit quick to decide that "D" is a wise business decision. I mean, if you're a little dim, you may well think about answering with "B," but let's face it: If you choose "D," you're just a frickin' moron who is probably best removed from the gene pool anyway.

Two significant characters in "The Godfather" pick "D": Jack Woltz (John Marley), the film producer who won't give Johnny Fontane (Al Martino) a job, and Moe Greene (Alex Rocco), the Las Vegas casino owner. Without their unbelievable stupidity, "The Godfather" would have been about nothing more than Italian guys sitting around at home.

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