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The Godfather Series (which I define as Godfather I and II and which does not include that piece of maggot-ridden dung misnomered "Godfather III" that Coppola really should have called "A Pathetic Way to Make Even More Money for My Greedy Self, Because Deep Down, I Wish I was George Lucas") is amazing and therefore it's not worth attempting to argue otherwise. However, the films did raise some questions that are never fully explained. Anyone care to try?
1. If Sonny's John Thomas is so damn big, why does he waste it by screwing the ugliest girl at his sister's wedding? If I were him, I would have whipped it out on the dance floor and taken bids from all the girls screaming for Johnny Fontaine. You throw a rock in a crowd of women, you're bound to hit someone better looking than Lucy Mancini.
2. Is there anyone of God's green earth more annoying than Talia Shire? She was perfectly cast, since the role called for an obnoxious, annoying, spoiled daughter. Everytime I see her running through the wedding yelling "Johnny! Johnny!" to Johnny Fontaine, I want to drive a spike through my forehead.
3. Why didn't Al Pacino wait until after dinner to blow away Solozzo and the Polic Chief? At least he would have had a free meal, and the veal was supposedly the "best in the city."
4. Why does Al go after Diane Keaton when he gets back from Italy? It's not like he loved her; he was married to someone else in Italy for a while. Once he returned to America, he was a certified bad ass kingpin. He should have done like Fredo and just started banging cocktail waitresses two at a time. Marriage and kids could have waited until later (obviously, looking at the two losers his kids grow up to be).
5. Are we really supposed to believe that Abe Vigoda is an Italian gangster in these movies? Come on, I look at him, and all I think about is Hal Linden and that awful show Barney Miller.
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