Good Will Hunting

Bomb Rating: 

A friend suckered me into seeing this film, explaining that not only was the movie itself moving, but the story behind the story was amazing as well. The story I got served was the same everybody has been spewing: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were struggling actors who decided to write themselves a movie, then years later, after becoming well-known, they got to see their project made.

Let me tell you just how much of a struggle Matt Damon was experiencing at the time: He was starving, not knowing where his next meal would come from, freezing during the Boston winter as he tried to sleep in a cardboard box using bagel bags for socks and slabs of wood for shoes. Oh, wait. That might be an actual inspiring story. In truth, Matt Damon was starving in his warm Harvard dormitory. If you bought the former tale, thank you for sucking the penis of Miramax Films. Please exit to the right.

So poor Matt Damon and poor Ben Affleck wrote "Good Will Hunting," about a poor Boston southie who's actually a mathematics genius, but needs some attention because he's been so wounded and hurt during his life. Damon probably got the idea after taking a wrong turn in his Beemer, winding up in a bad neighborhood, and thinking, "Wow, what if one of these losers were as smart as me?" and "I'd better get the hell out of here before I'm gang-raped." "Good Will Hunting" is Matt Damon's version of slumming it: trying to identify with the common man, and in the end achieving only a clumsy, insulting condescension.

Memo to Matt and Ben: Please stick that struggling actor crap up your ass. Damon and Affleck still struggle with acting, just not in the way they'd like us to think. If Matt was so desperate to be in film, why didn't he drop out of his school, take Dad's tuition check and make the God damn film himself? Why? Because Mommy and Daddy would have been disappointed that all those years of exploiting the workers and raping the land would have amounted to so very little.

To spread the word about this Good Will Hunting review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This Good Will Hunting Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Average: 5 (3 votes)

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • You really have to be some kind of pretentious ass to like this film, which explains why "Artforum" called it "One of the Year's 10 Best Films".

  • This is the second Project Greenlight movie and so far the geniuses behind the idea -- Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Chris Moore -- have proven precisely what is wrong with Hollywood: that the more bure

  • The thing that really pissed me off about "Finding Forrester" was that it took me a while to realize what film it was reminding me of -- which should have been utterly obvious.