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A lonely old woman goes to a pet store in the hopes of buying some companionship. She’s thinking puppy or kitten, but instead sees a beautiful parrot. She walks up and says, “Polly want a cracker?”
The parrot looks back at the woman and squawks, “Polly want a cracker?” The woman falls in love with the bird right then and there. She buys the parrot and takes him home. She sets a perch in her living room hand helps her new friend onto the perch. She walks into the kitchen, returns with a Saltine, and says “Polly want a cracker?”
The parrot looks back at her and squawks “Kiss MY ASS!”
The poor woman in all her years has never ever been addressed in such a manner. She becomes furious. She grabs the parrot off the perch and throws it against the wall. She picks it up by its legs and beats it against a desk. She walks over to the refrigerator, opens the door, throws the dazed parrot inside, and slams the door shut.
She comes back an hour later, yanks the shivering bird out of the refrigerator, and sets it back on its perch. The poor shivering parrot falls off its perch and lands on the floor with an audible thump. About ten minutes later, it thaws out and flies up to its perch. The old woman, still seething with anger, walks up to the parrot, holds out a Saltine, and says through clenched dentures “I hope that has taught Polly never to swear in MY house. Now would Polly like a cracker?”
The parrot looks at the woman and says “KISS!! MY!! ASS!!!!!!!!”
The old woman just totally loses it. She grabs the parrot and throws it against the wall. She beats it against the desk. She walks over to the refrigerator, opens the door, hesitates, and screams “NO! That’s too GOOD for you!” She slams the refrigerator door, still holding the parrot, and opens the freezer door. She thows the parrot into the freezer and slams the freezer door with such force, that it remains open a little bit: Just enough for the light to remain on.
The parrot, lying dazed in the freezer, is so cold that it’s damn near shivering feathers off. It looks over and notices a huge frozen turkey beside it. The parrot looks at the turkey and asks, “What’d you say? ‘Fuck?’”
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