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Hamlet
Mr. Cranky's rating:
Branagh wheels out the bigHollywood guns like he's hosting a marathon celebrity roast for the Big Bard himself.
Hey! Where did this review go?Click Here!
Was it really that bad?
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Messages:
- Public Apology to Jessalyn Leyra Karen_G
- Philm (or whoever) (Amok)
- Are you two at it again? (Cecily)
- Cecily, isn’t there something in the kitchen requiring your attention? (Henry_Carr)
- Henry, no doubt your shoes will dry out eventually! (Tristan_Tzara)
- Look, Dad. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- It’s all in t’ lettah, Junior! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Oh, I do miss the children, Tristan (Gwendolen)
- Well, Herr Burkhalter (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Yes, Henry. I do agree that this inn is rather peculiar. (Cecily)
- *Knock* *Knock* (Tristan_Tzara)
- Bloody hell, it’s like being in a room with three panicking hens! (Henry_Carr)
- *hic* Everyone shez I love you.... (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Dammit, Cecily, that’s not the way it happened at all! (Henry_Carr)
- You and you and you! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Henry, that is THE biggest load of zebra manure I have ever heard. (Tristan_Tzara)
- Who was z'at? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Look down there, Gwendolen! (Tristan_Tzara)
- I say! I hope someone is going to catch me! (Gwendolen)
- Just put your arms around my neck and hang on! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- General Burkhalter, sir! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Mr. Indiana, Sir? (Cecily)
- *Pssstttt!!* Henry! Gwendolen! (Tristan_Tzara)
- No-thing! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- I’m sure that the Fuehrer had it in his mind to let me do more (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Thank God for typical Hun inefficiency (Henry_Carr)
- I say, Henry, isn’t that our car over there? (Gwendolen)
- Henry, where are you going? (Cecily)
- Ladies, if you will excuse the interruption…. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Fruit inzpection? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Oh, my! (Cecily)
- We’ve got to do something to get them off our tail! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Henry, what is Mr. Jones doing on the roof of the automobile? (Cecily)
- In case it’s escaped your notice, Cecily — (Henry_Carr)
- Spiffing good driving THAT was, don’t you think? (Gwendolen)
- O towers of Rome, farewell (AEH)
- General, if I may be so bold — (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- I don’t suppose that we could just leave them there, could we? (Tristan_Tzara)
- Wha’ in blazes was tha’ noise? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Ah, zo zis is ze famous Herr Carr. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Well, I see that this discussion is going to go on for some time. (Cecily)
- You.... YOU are Professor Jones? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Indeed, Miss Mitford, ab incunabulis (AEH)
- How should I know what the bloody hell he was talking about, Jones? (Henry_Carr)
- I must admit, Gwendolen, that I find this *most* distressing! (Cecily)
- Yes, I know, Gwendolen. Please don’t badger me right now. (Tristan_Tzara)
- Now then, Mis’ Mitford…. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Well, of course we’re going to walk right in (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Did you hear something, General? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Carr! Do you think you could be just a BIT louder? (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Hello, my Fine Fellows! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- If every Hun in the war had been like him — (Henry_Carr)
- Are you •sure• you wouldn’t rather let me drive, Tristan? (Gwendolen)
- Oh, dear. (Cecily)
- Shhh…. Gwendolen. They’re sleeping. (Cecily)
- Things ran far more smoothly when •I• was doing the planning (Henry_Carr)
- Yes, I AM sorry for grabbin’ you, Miz Mitford. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Comon, Henry. Get on with it. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Surely, Mr. Tzara, you knew some other way to stop this lorry? (AEH)
- I am NOT grumbling, Gwendolen! (Tristan_Tzara)
- Oh dear — we DID oversleep! (Gwendolen)
- I’ll tell you what the matter is, Jones (Henry_Carr)
- Gwendolen? (Cecily)
- Gwendolen, this is all rather intolerable. (Tristan_Tzara)
- I’m very sorry, Mrs. Carr. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Oh aye, you don’ have to explain again, Professor Jones (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- For the last time, Cecily — (Henry_Carr)
- No, not spionage, I assure you (AEH)
- Tristan, I think that we’re going in the wrong direction (Gwendolen)
- Yes, there it is again! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Henry, you *do* know that I am loathe to correct you. (Cecily)
- Gwendolen, I really don’t think this is such a good idea. (Tristan_Tzara)
- Well, maybe you’re right about the submarine, Tristan (Gwendolen)
- Oooooooh, just wait until I get my hands round his neck! (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Don’t quote your bloody bucolic verses at me, Housman! (Henry_Carr)
- Gwendolen, I suggest we take this opportunity…. (Tristan_Tzara)
- Please to put hands in air. (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- *Neeeiiiigggghhhhh* (StrollingPlayersCompany)
- Henry, might I ask a question? (Cecily)
- Yoo-hoo! Mr. and Mrs. Carr! StrollingPlayersCompany
- [three hours and one sunset later...] Henry_Carr
- I say, did someone blow a whistle? Gwendolen
- Mrs. Tzara, is tha’ you? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Good Work, Private Guztav! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Who is calling for General Burkhalter? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Varium et matabile semper femina AEH
- Where’s that miserable director gone? Henry_Carr
- Re: Are you two at it again? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Henry! Cecily
- Ah, a vonderful act! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Cecily, I don’t want to say “I hope you’re satisfied,” but — Henry_Carr
- I truly AM sorry, Professor Housman StrollingPlayersCompany
- [meanwhile, on the bridge of the Graf Zeppelin....] StrollingPlayersCompany
- Oh dear! Gwendolen
- [Meanwhile, back at Chipping Campden...] StrollingPlayersCompany
- Do NOT call me Junior! StrollingPlayersCompany
- What iz zhis?! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Look, Klunk, I’m kinda busy right now. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Henry, we shall discuss the matter of blame at some other time! Cecily
- AAAHHH!!! Tristan_Tzara
- Excitable little chap, isn't he? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Thank God, that noise is creating a diversion Henry_Carr
- Was? geschehen StrollingPlayersCompany
- O passi graviora, dabit deus his quoque finem AEH
- Quick, Gwendolen! The horse! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Oh, he dinna really mean it. StrollingPlayersCompany
- An Unhappy Conversation StrollingPlayersCompany
- A brief interruption Death
- Oooo. Looky what we 'ave 'ere. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Pay him no mind, Death AEH
- What •can• that woman be going on about? Gwendolen
- Yes, I agree that accommodations are very cramped on the submarine, General StrollingPlayersCompany
- There’s no need to become violent, Captain Henry_Carr
- There — you see? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Welcome aboard my unterseeboot. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Dammit! There getting away! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Who is it?! Who be oout there?! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Hello up there! Parhdon me! StrollingPlayersCompany
- *Knock* *Knock* Cecily
- “Muttering,” Miss Mitford? Hardly AEH
- I know I’m going to regret asking this, Jones — Henry_Carr
- No, Tristan, I don’t think we should bring your golf clubs Gwendolen
- *Knock* *Knock* Cecily
- Farnsworth! I should have known it. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Ah, Mrs. Tzara? StrollingPlayersCompany
- No! No! Tristan_Tzara
- [Meanwhile, at the German HQ of the Austrian Underground...] StrollingPlayersCompany
- But, General! StrollingPlayersCompany
- *Knock* *Knock* Cecily
- Yes, it is quite remarkable, General StrollingPlayersCompany
- Neurath is going to hear about this, you gits! Henry_Carr
- Kein Schmuggelgoodse! StrollingPlayersCompany
- *Knock* *Knock* Cecily
- Hmph! She’s very full of herself, Tristan Gwendolen
- Otto! Look! StrollingPlayersCompany
- No, Miss Bowles, I’m certain that Gwendolen won’t hurt your auto. Tristan_Tzara
- *Knock* *Knock* StrollingPlayersCompany
- Dad, what are we doing here? StrollingPlayersCompany
- I’ve told you already — I’m perfectly willing to come! Henry_Carr
- Yes, it’s been donkey’s years since we’ve seen each other, Reichart AEH
- Oh, I know that the club’s frightfully dreary during the day StrollingPlayersCompany
- *knock-knock* StrollingPlayersCompany
- *Pssst!* Mr. Farnborough? Cecily
- Really, Sally! Tristan_Tzara
- Bloody hell, take a number if you’re all going to talk at once! Henry_Carr
- Yes, I know what I said, Hotfrycake or whatever’s your name! Henry_Carr
- Oh, the ship must be docking! Cecily
- Look, Carr. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Tristan, that was marvelous! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Langstrecke nach London, bitte StrollingPlayersCompany
- You will never manage it alone, Carr StrollingPlayersCompany
- Ah, Captain. StrollingPlayersCompany
- That will not be necessary, Herr GENERAL. StrollingPlayersCompany
- No, keep your head down! Tristan_Tzara
- No, we are not going to switch clothing! Henry_Carr
- Poo — that’s your plan? Gwendolen
- Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum AEH
- No, you are mistaken, Mr. Farnwoody. Cecily
- Dad, this is insanity! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Missus Tarza? I would like t’ make a suggestion. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Aren’t we supposed to be undercover, Tristan? StrollingPlayersCompany
- (Oh, yes. Indiana Jones……….) StrollingPlayersCompany
- Come on, Sally! Tristan_Tzara
- Ohhh, don’t you feel a tingling all over, Professor? StrollingPlayersCompany
- That wasn’t Erna’s voice StrollingPlayersCompany
- What’s all the shouting about? Tristan_Tzara
- Hallo? Sprechen Sie Englisch? Cecily
- Sleeping be damned! StrollingPlayersCompany
- I •told• you we should have used an aeroplane Gwendolen
- Friedrich, what are you doing here? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Excuse me, but I don’t believe that I heard you correctly. Cecily
- Considering all, Carr, I think that you have little reason to complain AEH
- I’ll admit that I didn’t expect things to play out this way, Housman Henry_Carr
- And another thing Henry_Carr
- Oh yes, this was a bloody good plan! Tristan_Tzara
- Is Henry at THAT part now? Gwendolen
- Oh, how divine! It’s a clue! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Is this not a pleasant evening, my dear? StrollingPlayersCompany
- He’s doing it again! Gwendolen
- Child's Play StrollingPlayersCompany
- I am well aware that we are performing tonight. Cecily
- Dad, the ceremony is tonight! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Yes, I said carnival! Circus! Damned lot of travelling acrobats! StrollingPlayersCompany
- They can go jump in the North Atlantic, for all I care! Tristan_Tzara
- Later that evening.... Cecily
- Come along, Erna StrollingPlayersCompany
- No, I don’t want your help extricating myself! Henry_Carr
- “Your knickers are slipping”?! AEH
- Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport, Gwendolen! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Well, Gwendolen, you have to admit that it WAS rather humorous. Tristan_Tzara
- Meanwhile, at the Brandenburg Gate. StrollingPlayersCompany
- Well, thank God for whoever wrote that portion of the script Henry_Carr
- You! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Step right this waaaay, step right this way! StrollingPlayersCompany
- Yes, I am ready. Cecily
- Herr Hitler, what ever is the matter? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Look at that, Rolf! StrollingPlayersCompany
- I only wish Gwendolen were here to see the reality of a circus Henry_Carr
- I say, Tristan — do all circuses smell so — well, circusy? Gwendolen
- Brevis, Miss Mitford, I beg you AEH
- Now, Sampson, do play nice StrollingPlayersCompany
- Ist die Zeremonie zum Beginnen? StrollingPlayersCompany
- An Explosive Atmosphere StrollingPlayersCompany
- Well dad, do you have any other suggestions? StrollingPlayersCompany
- I’ll be there in a minute, Tristan! Gwendolen
- Cecily! Can you hear me? Henry_Carr
- Tying up a few errant threads... StrollingPlayersCompany
- Henry, what poppycock! Tristan_Tzara
- Oohhh. My head... I am so dizzy.... Cecily
- What d’you mean, hypnosis subjects must be humoured? Henry_Carr
- No no, Gwendolen! I am finding this all very amusing! Tristan_Tzara
- My, I must have fallen asleep. I feel so strange…. Cecily
- [*rattle-rattle*] Where can they be at this hour? StrollingPlayersCompany
- Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo James_Joyce
- Re: Are you two at it again? brett
- Where are Kenneth Branaghs lips? (Londoner)
- Hamlet rules!!!!! (tanya)
- Firsties. (Captain_America)
- Branagh's Hamlet (DrBoggs)
- Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (Leone)
- Another Shakesphere movie (or two) (stringer)
- the quotes.... (stringer)
- Obituary/Wake for "Fantastic" HAMLET Thread (Richard B. Bernstein)
- Re: Obituary/Wake for "Fantastic" HAMLET (Nowhere Man)
- Simultaneous posts ...... (moopie)
- Richard, FYI (somebody)
- Contrition accompanied by explanation (Richard B. Bernstein)
- Well. Mr. Cranky. Aren't you a nice man now. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Welcome back, Mrs. Bledge. (Richard B. Bernstein)
- Death of Justice William J. Brennan, Jr. (Richard B. Bernstein)
- O what a noble mind is here o'erthrown! (Philm Phan)
- Phan.... (moopie)
- Nowhere Man.... (hb)
- Well, hb beat me to it!! (jen)
- Happy Natal Day (Philm Phan)
- Re: Obituary/Wake for (Trapper)
- Trying to rain on my parade, eh? (Nowhere Man)
- An Age for the roles? (LunaMoth)
- OOPS sorry, kind of... (LunaMoth)
- Nowhere Man's birthday, then Lear (Richard B. Bernstein)
- Please, everyone.... (moopie)
- found more.... (moopie)
- Cranky doth murder the thread... (Spiney Norman)
- Monster typo... (Spiney Norman)
- What have you done, my lord - (Philm Phan)
- Philm Phan (Richard B. Bernstein)
- I was just tweaking you, Richard - (Philm Phan)
- Well now. Mr Bernstein. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Mr. Bernstein. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- To Mrs. E. Bledge (Tulkinghorn, Kenge & Vholes, Solicitors)
- Gentlemen, desist! (Siggy)
- I've got the popcorn, (moopie)
- I'm salivating (Wolfman)
- Allow me to interject the opinion of a professional (Dr. Frasier Crane)
- Oh, Eustacia!!! (Gunther Hopsdragon)
- Pardon me, Dr. Big-Shot Crane with the fancy gibberish (Siggy)
- Madame Bledge (Your Honor)
- Madame Bledge (Your Honor)
- Mr. Bernstein. Well. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Well now Mr. Hopsdragon. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Come now, Eustachia, you shouldn't be that way. (Robrecht Bledge)
- On the Field of honor (Winchester C. Colt)
- Dammit, I said I was on a holiday! (Lord Chancellor Edward Thurlow)
- Well, at least someone's got some sense (Lord Chancellor Edward Thurlow)
- Envying Mrs. Bledge (Petulia Blythe)
- Oh my dear Petulia (Jane Austen)
- I shall go a-wandering (Petulia Blythe)
- Not a mercenary am I (Winchester C. Colt)
- From a broken heart. (Gunther P. Hopsdragon)
- spiney (from the worst typist on the web) (stringer)
- All I want to know is... (jen)
- A picnic ? (Winchester C. Colt)
- Well. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Colefield County Picayune Times (editor's desk)
- I demand a DNA test! (Ephigenia Hornknockle)
- Just so's to make it clear (Ephigenia Hornknockle)
- Ephi, you idjit... (William Hornknockle)
- Now, Eustachia, you've gone too damned far! (Robrecht Bledge)
- Mr. Colt... (jen)
- You and them mules! (Ephigenia Hornknockle)
- Hornknockle, Hopsdragon, and Bledge (Winchester C. Colt)
- Well. Miss Jen. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Mrs. Hornsknockle now. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- This is intolerable, dammit! (Robrecht Bledge)
- Yoo-hoo! Mrs. Bledge! (Ephigenia Hornknockle)
- Does someone need a lawyer? (Bernie Shyster, Attorney at Law)
- Bring on the booze! (stringer)
- Mr. Bledge (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Tut, tut, my dear Mrs. Bledge... (Archbishop Ephremius Saxony Nudge)
- Gol-dang! (Ephigenia Hornknockle)
- Mrs. Eustachia Bledge (stringer)
- Well now. Isn't that nice. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- Ephi...??? Ephi..? (William Hornknockle)
- She will be restrained! (Dr. (Rev.) Francis Willis)
- A frantic phone call (William Hornknockle)
- You betcha! (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Heavy sigh. (Robrecht Bledge)
- can anyone hear me??? (Petulia Blythe)
- Oh, the horror! The horror! (Siggy)
- Eh, Margie? (Dale)
- You called, esteemed colleague? (Dr. Benjamin Rush)
- Hints (Joel and Ethan Coen)
- That's right, Dale (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Back in sunlight? (Petulia Blythe)
- Dale, did you leave that bear claw in your pocket? (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Now, Miss Blythe is it? Yes, let me introduce myself. (Dr. Benjamin Rush)
- That wasn't fair, I weren't looking! (Dale)
- I think I'll take a nap... (Petulia Blythe)
- I told them I'd find you here, Rush (Lord Chancellor Edward Thurlow)
- Murder Suspect Escapes (United Press International)
- following her trail (Petulia Blythe)
- If ever I eat another one of those damn bars... (Dr. Benjamin Rush)
- One side, if you please (Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester)
- Okey dokie, if we're all feeling better (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Good God! (Otto Waugh)
- Bizarre Tragedy Sends Annual Bathtub Fest Down the Drain (United Press International)
- Looks like we're too late, folks (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- lost again...the sorrow! (Petulia Blythe)
- Meanwhile... (William Hornknockle )
- A sense of relief (Winchester C. Colt)
- Horror and dismay (Richard B. Bernstein)
- I will get revenge on SOMEONE (Petulia Blythe)
- Well, sure, if you say so, Doc - (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- If I were you, Reader.... (Just Watching)
- Ja, Margie... (Dale)
- Succeeding Dr. Rush on the Bledge/Blythe inquiry (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- A Poetical Ode on the Great Hamlet Thread Bathtub Race Disaster (McGonagall's Ghost)
- thoughts at the seashore (Petulia Blythe)
- Nodding sympathetically. (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Press conference (Oliver Stone)
- No, Mr. Hornknockle! (Prime Minister Tony Blair)
- stoning mr.stone (Petulia Blythe)
- There, there. (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Movie project cancelled (Faceless P.R. flack for Walt Disney Co.)
- All right already! (Siggy)
- Siggy, a moment of your time, please. (Carl Jung)
- holding hands (Petulia Blythe)
- What was that? (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Mr. Colt... (jen)
- Siggy I had the oddest dream.. (Petulia Blythe)
- It's no use! (Siggy)
- Well at least I have some better vestments. (Petulia Blythe)
- Doctor, where is Ms. Blythe? Where has she gone? (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Officer, please, can you spare a moment? (Petulia Blythe)
- My God! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- Observation (Anon)
- Turning the squad car around - oops, hit a fly! (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Sheriff, we have to talk. (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Oh, dear me... (Robrecht Bledge)
- A Clue (and/or convenient plot contrivance) (Dale)
- As long as you're wearing the uniform.... (Petulia Blythe )
- For the love of God, show some mercy! (Mrs. Bledge's Scriptwriter)
- another observation (Anon)
- just one more, it will be relatively painless.... (Petulia Blythe's scriptwriter.)
- Yeah.... (Dale's Scriptwriter)
- Concurring opinion (Frank Black's scriptwriter)
- Might as well make it unanimous (Margie's scriptwriter)
- Well, Mr. Siggy. (Carl Jung)
- Well now. Isn't that nice. (Mrs. Eustachia Bledge)
- I have told you already! (Siggy)
- Umm... what was that? (Robrecht Bledge)
- Sheriff, can't you make this ATV go faster? (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Geez, he's bossy, that Frank guy (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- That was NOT well played, Sheriff! (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- The shower? (Dale)
- We'll fix that one in final editing... (The Director)
- She's MINE! Get away from her! (Petulia Blythe)
- Wait! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier)
- You can't fight in here! I'm afraid I'll have to ask all of you to leave! (Nurse Ratchett)
- Wake up, Eustachia! You too, Petulia! (Pam at Dallas)
- Report to Millennium Group [dictated while convalescing] (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Ergot Poisoning (Winchester C. Colt )
- Mr.Colt, I shall say it thrice (Petulia Blythe)
- Review of "Murder by Nanaimo Bar" (Roger Ebert)
- As usual, I disagree, Roger (Gene Siskel)
- Well. Isn't that nice. (Mrs. Crustacea Throsp)
- Crustachea Throsp is very dangerous. (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Have you considered doctor assisted suicide? (Dr. Kervorkian)
- Kevorkian complication? (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- We have some real geniuses here, don't we? (Dr. JACK Kevorkian)
- Obvious false imprisonment, Your Honor! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Sir, Mr. Lawyer sir, (Petulia Blythe)
- Do not worry, dear lady! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Geez, willya listen to him (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Oh, yeah? (Bernard Shyster, Attorney at Law )
- Just try it, you craven wretch! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Now, Mr. Bledge... (Bernie Shyster)
- Sheriff M'am, a word? (Petulia Blythe)
- Sheriff! Please, a moment! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- That's OK, honey (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Ah, there you are, my dear lady client! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Nurse! Medic! (Robrecht Bledge)
- I do not understand where we are going, sir (Petulia Blythe)
- A discovery! (Dale)
- Cut, cut, cut! (Orson Welles)
- Cut, cut, cut! (Orson Welles)
- Geez, take the squad car to Cincinnati - (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- There's a telephone ringing somewhere (The plot)
- I've had it with you know-it-all doctors (Maj. Margaret Houlihan (ret.))
- What? (Dale)
- Petulia! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier)
- Good morning to you, Sheriff! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Somewhere along a dirt road.... (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- Trouble in the countryside (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Slow down the car, deputy - there he is (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Frank Black places three telephone calls.... (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- a nice little place (Petulia Blythe)
- Good thing I had my Ray-Bans with me! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- A rescue attempt is mounted! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- Quiet, you damn fool! (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Nice going there! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Plan Omicron has run into difficulties. (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Psst! Deputy! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Get down, you fool! (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Plan Omicron has failed. (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Unhand me! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- exit, stage left (Petulia Blythe)
- Turned tables. (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- I will not stand for this! (Petulia Blythe)
- Peter, is that you? (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- Sir, what do you mean? (Petulia Blythe )
- I apologize. (Frank Black of the Millennium Group)
- You are a gentleman (Petulia Blythe)
- Willkommen to the Bates Hotel (Frau Blucher)
- Don't mind me, ja, you just go on working (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- They have gone to ground. (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Groggy (Quincy Wellington Montpellier)
- Oh dear oh dear... (Petulia Blythe)
- Geez, no wonder it hurt so much! (Sheriff Margie Gunderson)
- What happened? (Dale)
- For your consideration... (Your Host)
- Regrouping... (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- A peculiar escape (Quincy Wellington Montpellier)
- Good deputy, it is a flashlight! (Petulia Blythe)
- Well, geez, he's gonna get in trouble (Mom Marge Gunderson)
- Talk about a paradigm shift! (Dale)
- Unexpected turn of events (Quincy Wellington Montpellier)
- I think I like him (Margie's kid)
- Must search for the child! (Petulia Blythe)
- I am puzzled by these latest events... (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- I've been away from my client long enough! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Re: Obituary/Wake for (Petulia Blythe)
- Seeing things. (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- My dear lady, I am completely at a loss! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- We have lost control of the situation.... (Wouldn't you like to know?)
- Just wait until I catch up with that kid (Sheriff Margie Gunderson)
- oh, he's so silly (Margie's kid)
- Darling, can you hand me a mirror? (Petulia (sweetie) Blythe)
- You're right about the annoying, ja (Sheriff Marge Gunderson)
- Finally! (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- An observation (Dale)
- Where am I, Your Honor?! (Marooned Lawyer. Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Darling, this is SIMPLY hellatious! (Sweetie Petulia Darling Blythe)
- Oh, geez....okay, okay (Margie's kid)
- Complete meltdown (Quincy Wellington Montpellier )
- Quincy? (Petulia Blythe)
- An aside. (Dale)
- In these dark and turninf hallways (Petulia Blythe)
- Here representing this place's negligent landlord, Your Honor! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Transitions and regressions (Quincy (maybe))
- I hear someone calling my name (Petulia Blythe)
- What IS going on in this place?! (Ms. Blythe's Lawyer, Douglas Wambaugh!)
- Ray, we gotta mass murder on our hands here. (Det. Sgt. Lennie Briscoe)
- across this distance (The Ghost Petulia Blythe)
- One moment, Spectral Petulia! (Douglas Wambaugh's Lawyerly Ghost!)
- Branaugh is a genius (Greg M.)
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