Harriet the Spy

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"Harriet the Spy" is a classic example of Hollywood giving inexperienced, talentless sacks of dung a few million dollars to go make a movie.

What demented freak decided to go and make a movie about a littlegirl named Harriet (Michelle Trachtenberg) who nobody likes, nor should like?

Eleven-year-old Harriet, despite her tender age, has already matured into a first-class bitch. Harriet runs around taking notes about her friends and enemies in a private notebook. Eventually the notebook is taken and read aloud and everybody, including her friends, turns against her.

"Harriet the Spy" is a classic example of Hollywood giving inexperienced, talentless sacks of dung a few million dollars to go make a movie, despite the fact that they obviously know absolutely nothing about what constitutes tolerable filmmaking. First on the dung list is Douglas Petrie, who's responsible for the screenplay, his first produced. Dougy probably wouldn't know a story if it ripped off his head and shoved a plot down his neck. News flash: "Kids steal notebook and make fun of Harriet" doesn't quite fill an hour-and-45-minute movie.

Next on the list is director Bronwen Hughes, also making her feature film debut. Her experience consists mainly of directing film shorts for "Kids in the Hall" and foreign car commercials. The inspiration culled from such two-bit, crappy jobs seems to have translated directly to the visual style of "Harriet the Spy," which has all the appeal of having ammonia poured in your eyes. Ms. Hughes takes Jump Cutting 101 and suddenly she's got her finger on the pulse of ten-year-olds everywhere. Will she be held responsible when all those pulses stop beating?

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