Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Bomb Rating: 

I really thought Mitchell was going to pull a "crying game" at some point, and I spent most of my time in the theater desperately looking for somebody with an enormous cranium to hide behind in case that happened.

This movie was written by, directed by, and stars John Cameron Mitchell. That bastard has been trying to sell me those cheap-ass Timex watches for God only knows how long, and now I get to learn that he's a transvestite. Is Timex aware of this? This certainly gives new meaning to the phrase "takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

Hedwig (Mitchell) is a rock-n'-roll lounge act, except that instead of playing in lounges, he plays in salad bars and other strange places. Hedwig and his band, The Angry Inch, are following big-time rock star Tommy Gnosis (Michael Pitt) because Hedwig claims to have written all his songs.

Hedwig's story is a long and convoluted one. Basically, he grew up in East Germany, where he met a soldier who didn't mind that Hedwig had a penis. However, in order to leave East Germany, Hedwig needed to get a sex change operation, which he did. Unfortunately, the doctors bungled it and Hedwig was left with a lump of flesh instead of either a penis or a vagina. Thus the "angry inch".

I really thought Mitchell was going to pull a "crying game" at some point, and I spent most of my time in the theater desperately looking for somebody with an enormous cranium to hide behind in case that happened. Frankly, I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack, because that is some serious stress. I was also not particularly appreciative that Mitchell couldn't shave his pits and I had to look at those hairy little monsters throughout the entire film. Another thing: I think the number of kids who go to see this film thinking it's a Harry Potter prequel or something is going to be substantial. Shouldn't there be a disclaimer of some sort? Shouldn't J.K. Rowling sue the crap out of John Cameron Mitchell and Timex for creating this confusion? If a court case gets this thing out of the theater any faster, I say go for i

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