High Heels and Low Lifes

Bomb Rating: 

Special guest reviewer: Mr. Smiley!

Mr. Smiley's rating:
Like having an orgasm and saving the whales, all at the same time!

This was just the cutest little movie. It's about two attractive women played by Minnie Driver and Mary McCormack who are best friends in London. Minnie is British just like she is in real life and Mary is American just like she is in real life, but they're best friends nonetheless, which just goes to show you how fulfilling friendships can be among people with different cultural heritages. I started humming "I Want to Teach the World to Sing..." once this film got rolling and just couldn't stop!

Anyway, Shannon (Driver), who's a nurse, and Frances (McCormack), who's an actress, overhear a conversation between a lookout guy named Danny (Danny Dyer) and his boss, Mason (Kevin McNally) while these two "low lifes" are robbing a bank. Because Frances is such a wonderful actress who can even do impressions, they call Danny up and threaten him, telling him that unless he gives them money, they'll go to the cops. Now, normally I wouldn't recommend threatening people, but in this case, it just seemed really cute. You just know that director Mel ("Bean") Smith isn't going to let Minnie and Mary get hurt because, well, it would just be scary and wrong.

Shannon and Frances have a little trouble recovering the money because Mason is sort of a big meany. However, McNally is so intense with the meanness and belligerence that it really is quite cute. He goes to his boss (Michael Gambon) and they try to figure out who's blackmailing them. They try to shoot Shannon and Frances and blow them up, and it's all very mean, but in a cute, nice sort of way.

Of course, Shannon and Frances outsmart everyone, which is a really nice way to end the movie because we're rooting for them and it would be a shame if they got shot to death and shoved into a wood chipper or something like that. But fortunately, nothing bad happens. Even better, Shannon and Frances give most of the money they get to the hospital where Shannon works, which means that all the sick kids will suffer a little less. "High Heels and Low Lifes" is a beautiful, touching film about shady dealings that puts a smile on your face and makes you kick up your heels that much higher with glee.

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