Honey

Bomb Rating: 

Here's a scary thought: This movie actually could have been titled "Glitter 2."

Here's a scary thought: This movie actually could have been titled "Glitter 2." Though Mariah Carey isn't in it, Jessica Alba pretty much plays Carey's part in this cookie-cutter "dancer makes it big but never forgets who she is" film.

Alba plays Honey Daniels, a character whose name sounds like something the Bond producers came up with on a day without drugs. She's a dancer with talent looking for a big break. She works in the hood teaching hip hop to lots of young people who evidently already know how to dance. When she runs into Benny (Lil' Romeo) and Raymond (Zachary Williams) she tells them to come to her class even though they're already superior dancers. Ironically, when they finally do come to her class and eventually dance in Honey's benefit to found a new dance studio, their dancing gets considerably worse.

The story here is so generic that tickets should sell at a discount. Honey is looking for her big break, possibly in music videos. Finally, she gets her chance from director Michael Ellis (David Moscow), who seems nice and couldn't possibly want anything more from Honey than her talent. First, she dances. Then, she's choreographing and making lots of money and leaving her friends in the lurch. Then Michael tries to get himself a taste of Honey and she realizes that she's forgotten who she is, so she organizes a benefit to found a new dance studio.

Naturally, during the benefit, everybody dances superbly, nobody falls down, investors just happen to show up, and everybody gets what they want, except for me, of course. I was hoping somebody would thrust an ice cream spoon through the base of my skull about five minutes into this thing.

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