House of Sand and Fog

Bomb Rating: 

About all it's lacking to send folks into convulsions is Santa Claus clubbing baby seals to death with Oprah's severed head.

If you're somebody who stands out in the middle of the street on a beautiful spring afternoon in hopes of seeing squirrels get run over, you might enjoy this film. If you're the type of person for whom drinking Drano sounds appealing, this film is for you. If your idea of entertainment involves some combination of fiberglass and and your soft inner eyelids, "House of Sand and Fog" could be the highlight of your life.

This film has all the uplift of a tenement fire. Kathy (Jennifer Connelly) walks to the door of her shabby little bungalow one day to discover government officials babbling about taxes and posting eviction notices. Next thing she knows, she's out on the street and a former officer in the Iranian army, Col. Behrani (Ben Kingsley), has purchased her house and moved in with his family.

What's more amazing about this film is that it's being released Christmas week. About all it's lacking to send folks into convulsions is Santa Claus clubbing baby seals to death with Oprah's severed head. There isn't a character with an admirable motive in the entire film. Kathy basically gets evicted for being lazy and not answering her mail. Lester (Ron Eldard), the cop who evicts her, sees a hot, vulnerable, young woman with no place to stay, so he terrorizes the Behranis to score booty points. For his part, Col. Behrani is just trying to turn a profit on the house.

If you were enjoying the holidays a little too much, go see "House of Sand and Fog". It's sure to turn things around.

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