I Know What You Did Last Summer

Bomb Rating: 

If I were a cop and I had seen both "Scream" and this film, I'd beat writer Kevin Williamson's house searching it for drugs.

I emerged from this inane slasher film wishing they had gassed the entire audience of idiots in attendance. Has our society become so uneducated that movies like these are actually considered a form of entertainment?

How smart do you have to be -- how knowledgeable about the genre -- to know that when one of the characters attacks a guy in a rain slicker (because the killer always wears a rain slicker) and wrestles him to the ground, he turns out to not be the killer? That when the killer is in the room and a hand emerges to tap a character on the shoulder, it's not the killer's hand? These were apparent revelations to the dimwits in the audience, who were surprised by every other stupid, predictable thing in the film. I should have become suspicious when they screamed in terror during the THX commercial.

The premise for the slashing involves a group of kids who hit somebody with their car, then dump the victim's body in the ocean. The catch: the victim is still alive. The fun starts a year later when Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) gets a note that says, "I know what you did last summer." She returns from college and regroups with her cohorts: Helen (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Barry (Ryan Phillippe) and Ray (Freddie Prinze, Jr.). Suddenly, they're under attack by somebody with a serious vendetta.

If I were a cop and I had seen both "Scream" and this film, I'd be at writer Kevin Williamson's house searching it for drugs. If I didn't find something, I'd plant a kilo of heroin in his ass for writing this piece of crap. The insults to rational thought are too numerous to list. Aside from bad acting, Hewitt and Gellar both look like they've just come back from breast enlargement surgery. Julie researches the killer on the Internet using a laptop that's not plugged in to a modem while her father, inexplicably, watches a baseball game from the 1970s.

I know what these filmmakers did last summer: nothing.

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